Pandora's Aquarium

monthly update

2010-08-15T22:59:00.001-05:00

Perhaps having the hostess of the party pour vodka directly into my mouth was not the best of moves. Especially in a hot tub. Or maybe it was the pouring of the wine from a box directly into my mouth in the hot tub that was slightly less classier? Whatever the case both were classy fails but awesome times. The weekend was lots of fun. It’s not quite over yet but I’m currently being utterly lazy and it feels overish...rewind.
This past month has been busy.
Friday afterwork drinks with old workmate.
I have to leave fairly early so just half a litre of red, okay?
Hmmm the bottle is only seven bucks more, lets just get it. That’s only about two and a half glasses each.
Hmmm done the bottle, lets just have one more.
Hmmm, it’s nice out. Why don’t we switch the venue and sit on a patio?’
My Friday afterwork drinks with workmate always end with me very tipsy by eight p.m. Gooood times.

Two engagement party’s in one day, both between women who had used to live in my city, and had met guys from Melbourne. Both couples were not living here. One couple had moved away and the other woman had met her finance while living in London. He’s a stockbroker and from what I can tell, is living the life. So apparently have to marry a man from Melbourne if I ever wish to live elsewhere.

Girl’s night with ‘the girlfriends’. Been two in the last month or so. Both times we did dinner then headed out dancing. Good fun. Nice to just go out dancing with the ladies. Missed it!! Drinking and dancing the night away! No hunting for guys, the hook-ups ect. Just enjoying the music and not caring.
Ironically, during the second time we were out, we went to the exact same cultural pavilion that filmmaker and I had been to last year and had made fu n of the whole time and concluded the whole event was kind of lame.These girls loved it. I drank many rum punches and survived.
The other night we were out dancing, we went to the pub afterwards and met up with Scottish friend!! She was in the country a couple of weeks but sadly was spending most of it with her family at their cabin. But we made the most of our time. Dinners at some of my favourite restaurants, (we are both foodies now!) much wine, cava, martinis and good times all around. We went back to our old haunt, where Thursday night girl’s night first started and it was horrible! But we had to go for nostalgia’s sake but we definitely will not be back. The boy got to meet her and we had some pretty late weekday nights and hard mornings. But it was all worth it!! I’m sad she’s gone back but she’s vowed to make trips out a yearly event and I hope she does. I had really missed our girls nights out, conversation, shenanigans and just her friendship in general. She made the city bearable for me when I was doing my classwork.
The boy and I caught several fringe shows and I went and saw one with my mother. The weather was fairly good so much patio drinks were had.
The boy and I have been fairly good about getting up earlyish and heading out to the farmers market on Saturday morning. It’s become a favourite tradition of mine. I love love looking at all the fresh produce and everybody coming together to look. The boy and I usually grab some brunch too. Mmmmh. Plus delicious baked goods...so hard to resist it all!!
Continue to do free yoga at the park on Thursdays, the boy’s mother is often there so we have a bit of a chat too. I love doing sun salutations to the sun!! Once this ends I am seriously buying a package so I can do yoga at least once a week. Especially once winter hits, doing a hot yoga session on a Saturday morning would definitely be needed. (as long as I wasn’t out too too late the night before...)
August long went to the lake for an annual tradition with some of the boy’s friend’s. Most of them live out of town but for the past seven or so years they try to get together at one of the friend’s cabin at the lake. Lots of vino, hummus, pita, chocolate fondue (complete with fountain!) the boy’s famous salsa, conversation, laughter, sitting on the beach and swimming. I also got to know some of the boy’s friend’s a bit more intimately. The boy has a variety of friend’s but generally I meet a lot of them at large gatherings and I don’t have an opportunity to get to know these people which can be frustrating, considering several of t hem live outside the province and/or country. So I was able to actually get to know a couple of his friends in one on one conversations and I really enjoyed that. I got up early one morning and went swimming and felt so refreshed after. Made me want to do that every morning! Alas no room for a pool at the house...
Did drinks with a coworker’s boyfriend...good fun. We ended up talking from hours. I have found another person to join my ‘I hate this city and I’m just going to complain about it’ group. We’ve also been doing many caffeine runs. Been so tired lately. Text from a friend one day in the a.m.
‘Who were you walking with down the street? He looked hot!!
Uhhhh that was just workers boyfriend.
Way to ruin the fantasy!!

One weekend the boy and I had both a dinner for his brother’s birthday and a dinner for my sister’s birthday. Luckily on two different nights. But it certainly was a family weekend. So many family events when in a relationship. I’ve always felt like I’ve had to double duty with a lot of my parent’s family in the city but now it’s even more with the boy and his divorced parents. Oh well, it was lobster birthday with the boy’s family and they had ice cream I could actually have. Oh ice cream how I miss you.

Monday and Thursday I played my usual ultimate games. Monday was insanely hot playing in plus thirty degrees with humidity. Survived it somehow. I subbed in on the boy’s team on Wednesday. Nice to play on a team that wins consistently but their team morale sucks and they were very shouty in a negative way. Much prefer my other teams. May play this fall. It’s basically six weeks, playing two nights a week with the same team. Intense, short season, but since my job situation is uncertain and I have yet to pick out a new gym, this may be good for me.
Tuesday was my night, while the boy did his weekly dinner with his brothers. Which is my reading, artsy crafty, wine night in. (if I haven’t made other plans which I generally don’t, kind of nice to have one night a week like that) I try and avoid the computer unless it’s to write. This is me getting caught up on reading and getting more into my creative side.
Before ultimate on Thursday, I had drinks with an old classmate and some others from my programme and I realized how much I missed it. Being in that crowd. Talking about work that I might actually enjoy doing. Not the mindlessness that my job has turned me into. I really want to get back into it. I think I said that months ago but with the whole moving out thing, I tried to hold onto my job as long as possible, doing various jobs, sometimes week to week, which was frustrating but for what I was earning in a familiar environment, when so many people are jobless, well, I wasn’t going to turn that down. But it was my last day on Friday and I think I am okay with that. I can finally focus back on my academics and career. Besides, since last September I have not had seven straight days off work. I really need that.

So yes, enjoyable afterwork wine and when I told old classmate I had to go. He looked at me strangely and said, so you’ve played twice already this week, you did yoga at lunch, you came straight afterwork here to do drinks and now you are headed to ultimate again?! You are busy!! Uhhhh yes? I hadn’t thought I was but according to workmate I apparently am? Don’t think so. I think he’s still in thesis mode where all his free time was dedicated to finishing the damn thing. (which he did damn him) Hopefully we are getting to get together with classmates from our year soon.

Friday was...loooooong.

I had set my alarm for six. In the morning. I had been planning to leave for work by six-thirty, walk there and get a bunch of stuff before everybody came in and the photocopier started up. I woke up at ten to six to a massive thunderstorm. The boy was also woken up and had to run around closing windows. When he got back I poked him and asked for a ride to work...he groaned but agreed. Which meant extra time in bed. Score. Or so I thought. We were leaving the house at ten to seven, I was out of the house, the boy had his hand on the doorknob and he turned to me and said,
I hope you have your keys with you.
Uh no. I left them at work yesterday. Remember I told you that? Ummm why?
I just left all my keys in the house.
Fuck.
So it’s raining and we are locked out of the house. The boy called a cab so we could pick up my keys from work. While waiting I was struck by a horrible horrible stomach ache. My body sometimes reacts to food randomly and I had no idea what set me off this time. All I knew was that I was in pain and I really needed to use the washroom.

Which I could not.
Because we were locked out.
Ten horrible minutes later we get into the cab but not before we literally had to wade through a massive puddle because our street looked like a lake and I lost my flip flop and had to go back for it.

Soaked I demanded the cab driver find me the nearest public restroom. Which turned out to be in the hospital.

We finally get to my work, I grab the keys without any further incident. The boy said a morning like this is why we should never get up this early.

All of this happen before seven-fifteen.

It was going to be a long day.

I posted it on facebook and the boy’s mother simply said,
Friday the 13th
And suddenly it all made sense.

The rest of my Friday turned out to be not that bad. I got everything done and was not rushed for the rest of the day. Plus I got a free green tea lemonade because they made it wrong. Sweet. I live on those things.

Friday evening was good fun. We met up with two of the boy’s friends, a couple who live outside of the city. They are vegan and it was an excellent opportunity to check out the new vegan burger place. Good conversation and excellent food, followed by gelato I could actually eat! (this is why I love eating out with vegans and vegetarians!) Followed by a couple bottles of wine at our house and hilarious stories till one a.m. A lovely night and a good end to a bad start of a day. I really got to know his friend’s better and now that the wife is going to be staying in the city after he leaves (she’s doing an internship and she’s finishing up her phd) I am hoping to get to know her better.

Saturday I was largely indecisive when I got up as we did not bother with the farmers market because we are going away next week. So ended up just walking down the street to one of my favourite reliable places for breakfast. (have I mentioned how much I love this area?!) We grabbed the car and the boy dropped me off at my favourite used bookstore to meet up with workmate. There was an artsy craftsy sale going on and we wanted to check it out. I scored a tardis patch and some lovely homemade creams and lip balms, which listed all the ingredients. More about that later. After we had some tea and cookies. I walked over the library and tried looking for books for my trip but could not find too much. A trip to the bookstore is in my future! I couldn’t find much at the used bookstore either! So wrong! I wanted to spend money! I wanted books to read when I actually have the time!

The boy was still out with a friend when I got back, so I worked on super secret project till he got home. We relaxed a bit then headed over to B’s birthday bbq. Which wasn’t so much outside thanks to the endless amount of rain. I hadn’t seen B or that lot much outside of ultimate so it was an alright evening. Afterwards, around tenish or so, we headed back to our house. Our neighbours, whom are friend’s through the art community with the boy’s aunt, had invited us over for a house party.

And what a party it was.

We got there just as the band they had stuck in the living room was starting up. Awesome music. Have to find out how they spelt the band’s name so I can see them play next time. After we headed outside and talked around the firepit. Drinking wine and watching the antics of our hostess who was hilarious. Our neighbours also have a hottub. Which everybody started going into. Some naked.

The boy and I were eventually persuaded to ‘get in’. As we were able to grab our bathing suits next door, we had no excuses. (not that it mattered to some of the people there)

Next thing I know, I’m crammed in a hottub with some of the city’s most creative people, filmmakers, artists, dj’s...and our hostess is pouring vodka down my throat, then the wine from a box, which our slightly tipsy host, was trying to aim at our mouths...all the while still drinking our regular drinks.

Then it was barbeque time and burgers at like two a.m. The boy left around two thirty or so and I ended up staying close to four and outlasted our hostess. But even when I left there was still a crowd there.

Despite the fact that I knew almost no one there it was an awesome time.

Of course when i got home, not so much. I decided to have a shower because of the whole hot tub naked people thing. After several glasses of water and a sandwich, I felt I had staved off a hangover. Naked in my bathroom, I took a step into my shower and promptly fell over.
*crash*
Note, being still kind of tipsy, naked and having pools of water around from wet bathing suits, is probably not a good combination.
The boy heard the crash and of course immediately rushed in and couldn’t stop laughing at my undignified position.
My ankle is still sore.

Today I was feeling it a bit and woke up far too early so I’ve been rather lazy. The boy and I spent the better part of the morning and early afternoon, snuggled in, having tea, watching movies and eating a baguette.

Oh I have been doing what seems like endless amounts of laundry. Endless.

Tomorrow tea with sister and mother afterwork, heading to the bookstore to stock up on books and packing for my week away! It shall be my first proper vacation since Edmonton last year and my first official vacation with the boy. I might see some friends who have moved out that way and the newest addition to their family and the boy has a friend who is coming out our way to say hi. Really really looking forward to vacation. So last minute too! The boy is working for two and a half days of it, but I love exploring on my own, especially somewhere I have not been before. Plus staying at a nice hotel and the boy is covered by work and he’s flying me out on his airmiles. We are going to be renting a car and doing some hiking and hopefully wine tasting!!
One last random story. So while at the crafty artsy event I got to talking to one of the people selling items. It was all natural girlie lotions and potions, none of which was made from any animal or animal by product and it was all so very delicious smelling. I thought she looked familiar but not being brave I said nothing. Mistake. I also made some inane comment about not being sure about vegan toothpaste. Which sounded stupid as soon as I said it.
So we get to the party last night, go watch the band and I see her. I lean over to the boy and say, that’s her, the woman today at the bookstore. He turns back to me and says, uuuuh, that’s our hostess, our neighbour. Which shows you just how completely clueless and horrible with faces I am. She was sorta really tipsy later on when we were talking and then in the hot tub, so I don’t think she remembered me from earlier that day...I hope.
She did call us the best neighbours ever. I just hope we keep getting invited to their parties and don’t actually have to listen to them from our house. I am down with that. I loved their house so much, filled with artwork...and I’m off. More laundry awaits.

2010-07-12T15:57:00.002-05:00

Lovely weekend. Went over to M’s on Friday night with another friend . She had five different kinds of cheese and French baguettes and I had three different kinds of wine and flight of the conchords. Delicious and funny times. Wasn’t home till close to three.

Saturday we woke up fairly earlish for us and headed out to the farmers market. Well, we had a pit stop in between. Namely a flat tire. The boy taught me how to change a flat then we brought it over to a nearby garage. The tires were fairly new so we were pretty sure all the tire needed was a patch. While they were looking at it, we headed over to the market and had a fun time, snacking on free samples, having delicious farmers sausage and buying fresh produce. Love doing it! We generally circle around once, see what’s there and then circle around again.

One of these days I am going to get there early, even if it kills me. There is a much better selection the earlier you go. I am just not a morning person and if I don’t ‘have to be’ up, why would I be? Is it a good thing or a bad thing that the boy exact same way and we would both rather just lie in bed together just a ‘little bit longer.’ (cue us pounding the snooze button like twenty times this morning-arg Mondays)

Afterwards went back to the garage and the tire was salvageable. Hurrah! After another wait, he dropped me off at the used bookstore and went off to do manly things at home depot, while I cruised the books. I walked back home and stopped at the l.c along the way and got some oh so classy wine in a can because I had company and I knew she would be amused. K and I caught up for the rest of the afternoon/evening and yes she was amused by the canned wine. The boy had been doing renovations in the basement and I was pretty chill, so we ended up just catching a late film, then going out for wine and crab cakes afterwards. It was nice to do something sort of ‘datey.’ Every once in awhile, even on a budget, it is nice to dress up a bit and go do date type things.

For some reason though, I couldn’t sleep and fell asleep in an uncomfortable position when I finally did. The next day I was up early though. Well early for me. Nine thirty and didn’t actually move out of the bed till around elevenish.

We had phoned a pub to see if they would be showing the World Cup and they said they would be. So since we love their brunches, we decided to walk down there for brunch. Just a fourty five minute walk and it was a beautiful sunny day. Only once we got there they had a note saying there had been an equipment function. Wtf is that? So we had to quickly phone our friends, who luckily happened to be staying with their parents near by, but had just woken up and they drove us all down to the backup pub. Surprisingly not that busy and far too many Spanish fans. I think the bar tender jinxed the team when he saw my shirt and said, ‘You do realize the irony of the Netherlands winning in South Africa of all places’

Since Spain didn’t score till the 116th minute, it was a long afternoon…and more then a couple of drinks and so it was a lot of fun. The only bad part was we had intended to do plenty of house/shopping things and by the time we got home it was almost four-thirty. Just enough time to hit up home depot again and do grocery shopping for the next week. Then the boy decided he was in charge of lunches this week and made most of our lunches for the week.

I was positively lazy and watched the Tudors while doing practical computer things that I have been meaning to do for ages. Like organize all my photos from the last five years and try to delete duplicates. Organize my itunes and make sure they all have names and artists and create new playlists. Finally I attacked my personal email account. It’s my oldest account. I first opened it up in like 1999 or something like that as part of an assignment for a computer course I was taking. Despite the fact that I am supposed to be an archivist someday, I still occasionally let it get out of control and then have to spend an hour or two, sorting, organizing and deleting. It’s not the answering people that I find the problem, it’s the after part and since it’s not my work email, I don’t find it quite as urgent to do. I was exhausted Sunday evening and in bed by eleven, so that was all I could manage.

I also reffed a mini fight that broke out on my facebook between two random people I have on facebook. One guy I interned with and the other I used to work with in high school and later met again at a history conference. Slightly intense, well as intense as football debates can get, over my comment about the Spanish being excellent at acting and diving. Oh yes. I went there.

All around good weekend. Nothing crazy but still fairly busy. I feel accomplished.
Tonight I have ultimate and I will on Thursday as usual. Last week we lost both our double headers but on the second game we managed to come back from 8-2 at half to loose by 12-15 at the end. So it felt like a come back victory.

The bruise came and spread a little bit to one eye, which kinda just makes me look really really tired and puffy.

Practical cleaning things must be done this week and I am hoping to get back into the exercise video and buy a new one and a new bike!

Oh beginning of the week. It looks like so much can be done.

2010-07-09T16:19:00.000-05:00

Got hit in the nose with a fast flying Frisbee last night. Have to admit, it wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences. It has puffed up a bit today and I shall be getting ice from the Starbucks as apparently it can still bruise within fourty-eight hours. Boo hiss hiss. Especially after I got eaten alive camping and the bites have still not gone down.

The boy has an annual camping trip with his friends and this year I went along. I have to admit in the last hmm ten years or so, I think I’ve been camping twice. Both were for short periods of time, like two days and one was for a music festival which is an entirely different experience then regular camping. I went a lot as a kid but it has been awhile. I have been spoiled by friends with cabins. I get nature, without the tent. We arrived Wednesday night at one a.m after running around the city all night, doing errands and stopping in at a birthday party and stayed till Sunday lunchtime at which time, I said if I get one more mosquito bite/black fly bite, we are leaving. A minute later we started packing up. I admit, I am a bit more girlie then I thought I was.

The five days out involved some swimming, some reading, a lot of eating, fires, alcohol, card games, chatting, slapping of mosquitoes, making of sangria, some laughing, making bannock and of course the annual ‘Growers Challenge’ (who can drink a two litre of cider the fastest…my boyfriend got third…apparently it’s a challenge because it tastes so bad…I was the only one who thought so, possibly because I used to get drunk on cider back in the U.K and pft, only seven percent)

Tonight I am headed over to M’s for a movie/wine/cheese/catch up night. She is dating a friend of mine J, and I am still trying to walk a fine line there and not be nosy. (and trying not to get caught in the middle in case things go wrong-they are from separate friend groups) But so far it seems to be going well and hope it will continue to do so.

J actually came over on Wednesday to help with some electrical stuff we needed to do, including doing some rewiring so we could hook up the laundry machine. Woot, I am this close to being able to dry my jeans again. We paid him in beer and pizza and had a nice time chatting till midnight. M wants to do a ‘double date’ soon. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a ‘double date’ hmmm.

Tomorrow, I hope to get up early and hit up the farmers market. I love farmers markets. I love just looking around and drooling. Also checking out a massive used book sale, possibly with a friend then catch up with K, whom I haven’t seen in forever. Boooo. The boy is probably spending the day doing home renos, (after the farmers market) instead of working at work. I also hope to get a bunch of house things done this weekend, plus some reading and writing and get back into my thirty day shred workout. Arg. camping derailing me.

Free yoga at lunch outside at the park on Thursday. I love being able to do sun salutations to the sun! The boy’s mother and cousin have also been coming, so that has been nice. I really do miss yoga and wish I could do it more often, but it is quite pricey, especially the hot yoga.
Been really enjoying walking home from work everyday. I haven’t been making it out to the gym due to it being on the other side of the city, which sucks but with the weather so beautiful it is hard to motivate myself to go to a dark, dimly lit gym. Instead I’ve been walking way more often, including from work, doing my usual lunch time walking, running errands that I can walk to, that thirty day shred video and ultimate at least two times a week. A couple of weekends ago the boy and I both had appointments downtown and we walked to them, then run some more errands, checked out a festival type thing and walked back. We had afterwork drinks one Friday and I had my laptop so I walked home first to drop it off and then walked back and everybody was amazed I would spend that time walking. I am hoping to find a reasonably priced gym near by, but with the job situation so uncertain I find it hard to commit to a new gym.

Next weekend we have two engagement parties on the same day plus the boy’s annual guys steak night (which would take a natural disaster/death in family to miss) and the counter girls night out. Hoping to do drinks with former workmate soon but I swear we have opposite schedules.

Almost time to go and I have wine to buy

2010-06-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

On Saturday we moved in. Then we had a bubblebath in the massive tub with jets. On Sunday we walked to the local coffeeshop/used bookstore and got tea and lunch and a treat and unpacked. Monday was ultimate and more unpacking. Tuesday, after work, I walked to the herb gardens and got more herbs, I walked to Safeway and got groceries and I walked home. Then my mother came buy with a planter and we planted some of the herbs Brussel spouts. (my mother got them for the boy as he loves them and I have issues with them) Last night I walked home again then met up with Noah and his friends and had a prep session for Canada Day long weekend. This morning I came to work an hour early and left the house at twenty after seven. I am enjoying living so centrally. I am enjoying making my own space. I am enjoying the fact that we will have internet tonight.

I am not enjoying the fact that I am off to the lake this weekend for father’s day. While I want to of course visit my father on father’s day, the whole weekend with my family in a small tiny cabin, is not what I consider fun family time. The boy can’t even sleep with me as there is just no room and it would just be too weird if we shared the bottom bunk and my sister slept on top or we got the living room fold out couch. Luckily the boy’s stepfamily has a cabin up there and he will be staying there. At least he is coming up for part of the weekend before he heads back to the city to run the relay in the marathon.

Ah well. I am off to go make sure we have internet!

Monday Madness

2010-05-17T16:34:00.000-05:00

Actually no madness. It just has two m’s.

Just sat outside at a nearby park and read at lunch today. Nice to do so before the mosquitoes come.

First Monday night ultimate game of the year. Brother dear and his girlfriend are on the team. Should be fun. Although I just about died during our first Thursday night team game last week. Not so bad on Wednesday when I subbed in on the boy’s Wednesday night team but some of the players were better and there was less running. Also, we won Wednesday and lost horribly on Thursday.

Pretty chill weekend. The boy and I had sushi on Friday then went for a two hour walk around and into Little Italy. After went to my favourite bar to listen to three bands. M’s friends were in the first one and despite their music being the most random and perhaps not as good, they really had the best stage presence and they were tons of fun. Sadly the boy and I only lasted till around one or one thirty…I am so old!

Saturday, the boy did soccer practice and I did cleaning. Then he decided to surprise me for the rest of the day.

(I was pretty down because it was a gorgeous weekend and I was supposed to be at the cabin but B cancelled the cabin trip but then oh decided to go again, but with just the guys…and all I could think was that I could have been at the cabin swimming and reading by the dock, sipping wine-yes I could have gone to my parents but I would have had to have gone up with my mother and the dog and spending that much time with my parents without siblings, is not remotely relaxing)

We ran a couple of errands and then we went to look at laptops. He is determined that I just get one already. Hurrah for tax returns. Looking at the prices he decided and managed to convince me that it would be just cheaper to buy the model online and get it shipped out as opposed to buying it at the store. It really was, so I got the better laptop for much cheaper with free shipping. I think this is step one to getting out of my rut.

Afterwards we just kept driving and the boy refused to tell me where. So we ended up playing the ‘we are going to the farm to tip cows aren’t we’ game, You know, the one where you pass by random places and say, yes we are going there and then you do one too many and you say it sarcastically but it turns out you are actually going there and you ruined the surprise with your sarcasm.

But it didn’t quite go that far.

Ended up at the beach. There were a few brave swimmers. I got my feet in the sand and in the water and we walked around, he got ice cream and then we read the paper on the beach.

Pretty nice surprise. This was the boy attempting to make up for the fact that I did not get to go to the lake.

We stopped in on the way back for ‘world famous hotdogs’. I did not find them world famous and think someone should say something. We also walked around a bit then hit up the arcade. The boy played one of those old school shoot em up games and I played several pinball games. I love pinball. Have loved it since I was a kid and we were up at the lake and my dad would take me and my siblings to the old arcade so give my mom some peace and quiet. After all that we took a long windy drive along the river and saw all the really rich homes people had built out in the RM. Really nice rich homes. Who lives in these things?? Dammit. I want one.

Got back just in time to change and then I headed to a friend’s divorce party. Only stayed for around an hour and a half before heading over to check out a friend’s new apartment. Had some wine /girlie movies/t.v shows and a catchup till past two in the morning, good fun. I like her new place. It is sort of creepy though because it’s about a ten minute walk from the house I grew up in and moved out of when I was eight. So she didn’t even have to give me directions, I knew exactly where her apartment building was. She suggested I move into her end of the city but no. The next time I move, it is going to be somewhere central, not out in the heart of the burbs.

Sunday was lazy. Went over to a friends place in the afternoon. She was out gardening most of the day so I checked out what she had been up too. Shared a bottle of wine. Then she gave me a bottle of white because she is not a white fan. Score! Then the boy had a meeting that evening (besides the one he had already had at lunch) so I made dinner then went for a two hour walk with his roommate and showed him the boy’s new house. We stopped for tea along the way which was nice. The boy texted me he was on his way because I had his keys and had to let him in, so he ended up picking us up so we didn’t quite finish our walk which would have taken at least another half hour, fourty-five minutes. Walked the whole evening in a skirt and a tank top and was not even cold. I

So all in all, a pretty chill weekend but got out and enjoyed the weather.

Next step.

Bike.

This week, just the usual ultimate games. His Wednesday team was trying to recruit me…but not sure…I do like actually being out and about doing non sports related things during the week…like drinking…okay you do that with ultimate too…but the first involves no exercise before you get the alcohol.

Probably doing whine and wine with a friend. Should be nice Long weekend this weekend but nothing big planned. Booo. The boy and I were thinking of something but it would just be too late minute. Perhaps the weekend after the long weekend though. When places are not quite so filled up.

Wine fest was fun. Good group of people. But hard to keep a group of about ten people in one spot, so we mostly just split up. Got made fun of for taking notes so stopped and then ended up drinking probably a bit more because I wasn’t stopping to take notes. Stupid friends.

Ultimate party and practise were good. Brother dear and girlfriend showed up for the practice. They are already better at it then me.

Went to the boy’s grandmother’s birthday. It was Chinese which I am not a fan of, nor does it agree with me at all but it was still nice. Best part was the lemon poppyseed cake afterwards at her apartment.

Couple of Fridays ago it was just going to have one drink afterwork with a friend but it turned into a bottle of red, and just one tapa which turned into three and dinner and one more drink and then she missed her bus so that meant one more drink. Boy was out and about but after tipsily running a couple of errands, I was back by a little after ten and content to be so. Saturday usually errands, cleaning, ect, then walk with a friend for a couple of hours and movie night with the boy.

2010-04-30T16:34:00.000-05:00

It is Friday finally. I had one of those weeks where I felt like it should be one day ahead. Today I woke up thinking it was Saturday. Alas it was not. Luckily the boy snuggles into me when our alarm goes off and we generally have a ten or fifteen minute ‘us time’ before I finally get up and make breakfast and I am generally less grumpy in the mornings when we do this, then when I am living with my parents. Weird.

Week was good. Last Friday was the usual afterwork drinks with the gang. Then I watched the boy at an ultimate practise in a park near by, then we did drinks with the team. After that we went and saw a Swedish film based on a popular book that I knew the boy would enjoy. Go me. It was my pick and he loved it.

Saturday we got up stupidly early for the bike auction. I realized an hour in that I could not actually spend two hundred bucks on a bike there because I knew nothing about bikes and if that would be worth it or not. Oh well. At least I know what it is like now. Following that we looked at other bikes at the shops then had brunch. Then read the Saturday paper, and the boy went to work and I went to have my first gelati of the season with hometown friend, followed by the gym. Then we had dinner and got ready to go to a indie label release, with one of my favourite local artisits. Good times and I ran into political friend. (used to work with me and now has a way better job where she is super happy, we bonded over being so close to the photocopier and she is a way better cubical buddy then the person now)

She said something really nice yesterday. She pointed us out to her friends at the show and said, ‘look there’s my friend and her boyfriend. They look so cute dancing and I love that they are dancing like they don’t care. ‘

The boy of course immediately took it as, we were dancing really badly.

But you know what? So what if we were. We were ‘on a date’ and yah, dancing to the music and into it and not into whoever was there. We were just there to have fun and listen to music we enjoy and we did that till two a.m.

I am not one of those people that go to a show or the bar to be seen. I go to have fun and dance the night away. Oh and yes, occasionally get rather tipsy. But just not as much lately. I really do enjoy just going for a show and having a couple of drinks.

Sunday was lazy. Did manage to get some cleaning done and go to the mall for some new ballet shoes for work and get some books from the massive used booksale.

I went home on Monday, as it had been two weeks since I had spent a night at home.

Tuesday the boy and I went to our favourite bistro to try out the new spring menu. It was delicious. Plus I had made reservations, so we got our favourite spot at the ‘chef’s table’. On Wednesday hometown friend came over and we caught up over tea. Yesterday met up with political friend over some wine afterwork. Good fun as always. It amazes me what she has done in her life. Got married around twenty-five, had two kids, moved away, came back, got divorced, put herself through university while still supporting two small children and bought a house and still loves to go out and party.

I can only hope at thirty-one I will have that much energy!

Tonight we are meeting up afterwork for dinner and then about nine of us are headed to wine fest. Should be good fun. Saturday is an ultimate practise then the team party, which according to B, no one has said they are not coming to. Even brother dear and his lady friend are coming. Sunday is the boy’s grandmother’s birthday at some sort of Chinese restaurant. Busy weekend but should be nice if everything works out.

And I’m off…

Bits and Bites

2010-04-21T16:15:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile. I keep meaning to update and well then I just never do.
Not a full update, just bits and bites that are somewhat organized.

It has been one of the nicest, hottest springs that I can remember after living here most of my life.

Job
Job hunting. Term contract ends soon.
Probably a good thing.
Not in terms of money and trips and summer coming up but in terms of doing actual work and my own mental stability.
Would like something in my field.
If not, may be a good time to focus on my thesis while continuing to job hunt.

Travel
The boy and I are thinking about a trip to Europe.
I still dream of South America but he is not too excited.
So tempted if I do not get my job renewed or a new job to just say ‘fuck it’ and head off to South America. Go into debt a bit, whatever. It would be worth it.
Still feeling stuck. Or maybe it’s living in this city that does it to me.
I mean really, moving in with my boyfriend? Isn’t that the opposite of everything I wanted to do in life?
I suppose if there is one thing I’ve learned over the past year, is never judge, as you might wind up in the exact same situation and really you never know.

The Boy
Valentine’s Day was lovely. Dinner at nice bistro and mimosa’s and roses for breakfast.
Have officially spent one entire week at the boy’s, bordering on two.
One reason for this is I am getting extremely lazy about lugging my stuff back and forth.
Don’t really like his house. Not near anything but in general it is in a more central area.
His roommate is super nice.
But arg. House dirty. Both never clean. *sigh* So yes, I end up cleaning up a lot of the time because I do have more free time then the boy.
The boy is buying a house soon for business purposes. Business and living combo in the hippie area of the city.
He wants me to move in.
I am not sure.
Pro and Con list is too long for this entry.
I still like doing laundry at my parents place. Plus I pay rent there. I usually score leftover or things my brother does not want to eat, aka healthy.

Family
Lots and lots of family things times three.
Cousin’s eighth birthday, then it was Passover with his family, then Easter with mine, we still have to do a belated Easter with the other half of his family….
His grandmother’s birthday is coming up and so is my grandparents birthday and mother’s day and my oma’s birthday and then father’s day, where we apparently all have to trek out to the cabin for the weekend.
My mother is not adjusting well to the fact, that we do all have our own lives and that it is not just about the five core family members anymore.
Great Grandmother’s 90th Birthday on the weekend, which involved much family. We all trekked out to a very small town and had the party in the basement of the Catholic Church.
Grandparents decided to embarrass the boy and I and bring the latest clipping of him in the newspaper and show it around to all of the relatives. Apparently am dating a minor city celebrity? Think not.
The boy drove the sister and I out and added in my brother for the way back.
The boy says we regress into children when the three of us are together.
We played our standard road trip games which included the Alphabet game. We had to name Countries and then Cities in North America (which ended up being small towns in my province after we had a fight if small towns counted or not) and movies and t.v shows.
The boy joined in.
We also stopped in to see his relatives in a bigger town, who own a lovely old Victorian home, with all of that beautiful wood panelling. Envious! They gave us alcohol, which was awesome because the family event was dry. ARG. That never happens on the boy’s side. Of course the last time a family member had a cash bar, my dad and his cousin were super classy and snuck in alcohol from their rooms into the reception.

Social
Caught up with one of those people who you know via the internet, or feel like you know each other but in reality you probably haven’t seen each other in like five years. Which was the case in our case.
Which reminds me, I have to facebook her soon…
Tonight is catchup drinks with radio friend. Woot, patio drinks.
Hometown friend went back to Geneva. Was utterly envious. Still doing our weekly tea/wine dates.
Playing on two ultimate teams this year. Both of my friend’s are captains and the boy is on both, Monday and Thursdays.
Am hoping it will keep me very fit.
Brother dear and his girlfriend are on the Monday night team.
All I have heard about for the past month on walks with B at lunch is ultimate and the partys and the practises.
Am currently worried about B for other reasons. I am glad he has a good support network and good friends. He had only told me originally but he finally told his other closest friend.
Hopefully getting out to the cabin in May…
Been doing afterwork Friday drinks with a workmate more often but alas she has left for greener pastures. Booo hiss hiss
One of my favourite bands is playing this weekend! Woot! The boy and I are going as soon as I get tickets!
Had my first patio drink of the season on Easter Monday with B.
Roller Derby was all sorts of awesome.
Wine fest coming up, going with the Boy and four other friends…looking forward to it!! Not happy Australian wines are being featured because since my London days of one pound Australian wine, I have been very much off it.
One couple who is coming along was surprised that it’s all the wine you can drink for three hours. Apparently they had thought it was like the beer festival where you have to buy tickets for each sampling. Uh no. Besides, it’s hard enough to get to all of the booths in one night. Again, I love it because people in my city are super cheap and even the wine snobs will be getting their forty-five bucks worth and not spitting.
Sister and I have promised each other we will go out more often together. Her boyfriend is a band teacher/jazz musician and I’ve got to a couple of gigs of his where he has subbed in.
The boy and I have been enjoying going to a hotel bar on Friday or Saturday and listening to whatever jazz/latino band/player they have on.
The boy and I have also been enjoying various restaurants in the city. We have checked out almost all of the restaurants on our list.
Have discovered a new bistro that we love and is now our backup, when can’t get reservations at nine-thirty on a Friday night so we are going there because we go so often that the chef knows us now.

Physical Activity
I’ve been bad since Easter, not going nearly as much-lots of family stuff interfering
Luckily ultimate starts soon. Two nights a week…arg. Even bought cleats
Hopefully buying a bike this weekend at an auction!
Been going for runs through one of the richest neighbourhoods in the city
I make up stories about rich people and murder for all the houses that have round windows or are dutch colonial in style as that means they are evil
I did a late run around eleven at night and discovered ‘make out point’ for the teenagers in the area and crashed all their private time.
Great deal going on at a hot yoga place. Forty bucks for a month when it is normally 150 as long as it is your first time. I really enjoyed it and so did the boy. But I just can’t afford that much every month. Four months at my uni gym costs less then that!
Might just do karma yoga as it costs less and all the money goes to charity…
Do enjoy yoga. Was doing it through work but couldn’t do it for the new session because of job uncertainty.

Proper entry...soon?

2010-02-12T16:34:00.000-06:00

I keep starting entries then I never finish them. Hmmm maybe I need a new blog with a new start. Transfer over some articles and voila, new blog.

Am tentatively planning trips. Boy suggested we do a trip together in about six months…we are debating about where…(like do we go back to Europe even though both of us have lived in Europe in various places and traveled to various places, do we go back overlap, visit friends…or go to an entirely different continent.

Also thinking another city with one friend or another.

At the cabin with the boy last weekend. Did drinks after work with workmates. Good fun. Got a wee bit tipsy. But lack of managers made everyone really let it all out. Also loved the pub, one of my fave places in Winnipeg to go for live music.

The boy picked me up about eight and we headed straight out to the cabin. Unpacked, hungout, then the boys played a nerdy game and I went to sleep early as I had gotten a horrible sleep the night before. Ever keep waking up thinking you should be up way before you set your alarm? Yah, that was me all night. Fun, hanging out, walking in the snow, drinking, reading, watching the snow fall…my kind of weekend.

Mussels with the boy this week. Yum.

Dinner with radio friend. We got free mussels because our seared tuna was late. We didn’t even complain. We just got them. I love wine Wednesdays. Then to the pub to crash a philosophy jam. Interesting times…

Last week workmates and I checked out a new place for lunch. Been meaning to go there for brunch for ages. There is no menu. What they make changes day to day, so you never know what you are going to eat when you go there. Results were delicious.

Drinks afterwork today with friends. Then B and I are probably hanging out. Or the lot of us might head over to friend’s of ours. The boy is off to the lake with the guys. Tomorrow plan on being somewhat productive and doing things like laundry. I quite enjoy clean clothes. Then naughty bingo with an old friend. Sunday the boy comes back and apparently he has plans…we shall see…

It’s Friday.

Finally.

January

2010-01-24T21:45:00.002-06:00

It is almost gone.

Time flies.

Far too fast.

Life is good, bad and mixed up.

Is there any other way to describe it?

Neil Gaiman and Tis the Season-I want a Nap

2009-12-16T17:04:00.001-06:00

I saw Neil Gaiman again!! Woot woot! Twice now!! Got another picture too! Saw him do a reading! He walked right by me!!! Such an honestly lovely person, signing for hours. I loved his reading and his impression of a bear, which I think is kind of Russian sounding. I now own a hardcopy of Fragile Things signed by him in 2006 and my old copy of Neverwhere, the first thing I ever read of his, that I got while living in London in 2005/2006. Which means a lot to me, because it allowed me to see London in a different way and hey, I was actually living at Earls Court at the time! So it was kinda special to get that copy signed.

Met up with an old friend whom I had not seen since the summer. Neil Gaiman is his favourite author of all time, and he was practically giddy. He was cute. Plus it was his birthday. Also ran into the boy’s roommate and hung out a bit with him and his friends. The boy eventually joined but alas it was too late, Neil himself had already done his reading and I was just waiting around to get my books signed. The boy went above and beyond. He is absolutely stressed right now and really did not have the time to wait around to drive me home but he did…am now giving one of my signed copies to him for Christmas. He is not such a huge fan but none the less a fan.

Other then that, life is hectic. Just bought my first couple of Christmas pressies today. My list is long and has not gotten any shorter. Friday I celebrated Hanukah with the boy and his family (half Jewish) and Saturday helped to organize/bake/create his work party and made yummy mulled wine for it!! Seemed to be a success. Sunday we did wine tasting. A lovely way to spend a fucking cold Sunday. Weekend before that it was his friend’s birthday on Friday then my friend’s on Saturday and well that whole week was insane.

The Wednesday I met up with a friend of Cat’s from Edmonton who was in town for a drink. Then went to my favourite wine bar with radio friend and had a lovely if not kinda tipsy night out. Thursday was the big event where the boy was featured and then the weekend was birthdays…Basically I cannot believe it is Christmas next week and I just kinda want a nap and I haven’t even reported half of it.

Tis the season.

I want to sleep!

2009-12-14T14:52:00.002-06:00

Procrastinating but at the same time...I like the idea of this.
http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/archives/001846.html

I'm going to think about it then come back to it. Will have my year in review but also this is more a reflective piece...

"My challenge for you is to answer the following questions and declare 2009 complete. Rituals can be even more powerful when others can witness you. You are welcome to do this exercise privately, but I suggest sharing with a friend and/or posting your lists here. You are in good, safe company. (Feel free to post anonymously)

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2009?
(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)

2. What is there to grieve about 2009?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

Okay, the next step is to say out loud, "I declare 2009 complete!" How do you feel? If you don't feel quite right, there might be one more thing to say...

The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2009? Is it the year of joy? the year of self-care? the year of partnership? Stand up and say it proud, "2009 is my year of...."

I'm Alive

2009-12-13T22:48:00.002-06:00

I keep starting posts then never finishing them. Am alive. Am busy. Have not started xmas shopping yet. Am procrastinating. Am trying to think of thoughtful gifts. Am trying not to resort to gift certificates.

Am tired.

Used 'am' too much and it no longer makes sense to me.
Watched love actually with the boy and am happy.

http://jezebel.com/5341749/
http://jezebel.com/5424221/the-pros--cons-of-v-magazines-plus+size-issue
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dater-x-everything-is-so-perfect-its-absolutely-terrifying/?TrackID=fcol
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/12/10trotter.html

On Passion, Ambition and Relationships

2009-11-20T11:29:00.001-06:00

After my meeting with my supervisor the other day, I was ruminating on our conversation and trying to think of a rational thesis schedule that I could actually stick to and then I thought about our conversation over jobs…and I realized something.

I’m in a relationship.

Shit.

Suddenly it is not so easy to just pack up and go. Yes, despite my family and friendship ties, I have never felt that I could not just pick up and go at moments notice. Hell, I’m afraid to get a mobile contract for a year because they are impossible to get out of if I got a job elsewhere. But somehow this time, things could be different…and yet…I don’t think I could ever limit myself.

My dream for years has been to work overseas. I realized how hard it would be to get into the foreign service and had more or less given up on that dream. But doing the internship and job in Geneva opened up new possibilities. I could work overseas and earn a decent salary! When I returned and told my supervisor of my direction in terms of where I wanted to go with my career. He replied that, that was great that I was willing to move for the right job. That many people were tied down with spouses, mortgages, children…that my lack of ties allowed me greater freedom to do more with my career and perhaps advance further.

Great!

This was over half a year ago, hell almost a year ago now. Suddenly I am in a relationship and I do have to consider my career and him.

Right, well it is a new relationship. It’s not like I’m married or have been together for how many years. I told him straight out when I was mulling over this, that I could not see myself giving up a career opportunity when I have spent so many years working towards it. He said while he could understand but at least I could tell him when I was applying for those sorts of jobs and we would have the discussion then. Right now the relationship is still quite new and the situation hypothetical.

The thing is I cannot see myself doing a long distance relationship. Nor can I see him doing one at this point in his life. He had one for years with a Spanish woman he met in Japan. At thirty I do not think he would want to do it again and honestly, I would not want to put him through it. As most contracts now a days with most international organizations are about two years, I really think that would be too long.

Yes, this is all rather hypothetical but still I have to keep this in mind. Again, I have just worked too many years to suddenly give up my dreams of working overseas again. I care for him and I feel that this relationship could potentially go somewhere but, if I gave up a career opportunity, something I had worked towards for years before I met him, would I not regret it?

I am reminded of this blog entry I found awhile ago.

http://exilelifestyle.com/lifestyle/throw-breakup-party/

At the time, I could not imagine so calmly breaking up and having a break up party, because each person chose to pursue their professional ambitions. All I could think was, did you ever really feel any sort of passion about this person? I do have to take his age into consideration, twenty-four. While at our age you certainly do not expect to end up with every person you date but still, I am not remotely romantic, in fact I would say the boy is more into that sort of thing then me, and even then I thought that was a bit…cold? I mean I agree with the article but not that tiny sentimental part of me. The following from the blog entry I agree with entirely.

“Different paths: sometimes two people who have a wonderful relationship feel that their lives are headed in different directions, and that by being in the relationship they are both being held back and holding the other person back. In this instance, it may make more sense for you to break up rather than keeping each other from doing what you want to do.”

At only twenty-four, you never want to regret that you did not do something. At twenty-four I had just ummm started grad school after living overseas for a year and a half. He had never even left the country till he embarked on his current adventures. The boy at that age had already lived in Japan. Cannot remember at what age he did his masters in Sweden…and that same year, at twenty-four, I would go and do a three month internship I Geneva, which would turn into nine months. But both the boy and I had that freedom to do those things. (minus the fact that he did start a relationship with the ex around the time he went to Sweden but they were fairly flexible)

In my entry earlier this year, I posted about this and about having passion.

http://raspberry-swyrl.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

I would say that the boy has a passion for what he does. His current passion, his company, keeps him here, with no possibilities of leaving at least for the next couple of years while he nurtures it. Judging by the amount of hours he puts into it, I know this is what he wants to do right now. His passion. I could never deny him that and don’t mind all the extra hours he puts into it. I in fact admire it.

Like me, he does not want to spend the rest of his life here and probably would not mind moving to another Canadian city or overseas, depending on jobs for him but not right now. While I could see myself moving away within the next year as soon as my thesis was finished.

I spoke of two my friends who did go off overseas and were both able to successfully maintain a relationship with someone back here and still able to follow their passion. One is married and the other is still with her boyfriend of how many years. Considering that my sister, the one who chose not to go overseas because of her boyfriend, is now the one who is currently single, I really think that says a lot about following your dreams and your passions, even when in a relationship.

It’s a lot to think about, especially when so early in a relationship but I realized that it is something that had to be addressed.

We have a lot of in common, a love of travel, a love of living overseas, we have both been with partners overseas, we both want to move away eventually, hell we would even want to live in the same area of the city. We both don’t watch a lot of t.v but like similar shows (flight of the conchords/arrested development/british t.v shows/the office) and similar books and in some respects a similar taste in music. Also, as shown by our Halloween Costumes this year a love of old films (he loved Arsenic and Old Lace) and obscure 1960’s t.v shows. (re Get Smart & the Avengers) He loves to cook and I don’t mind chopping things and doing dishes. We both do not drink coffee and like green tea. He likes to play sports and I don’t mind playing soccer and ultimate. (we did after all meet during dodge ball and get to know each other during Ultimate!) We both like going to the gym on a regular basis. We both love wine and want to learn more about it. (we are planning on doing some courses) We love cheese. We love freshly baked bread and fresh veg and olives and going to the Italian market for their deli meats. We love simple homemade pizzas rather then the pizzas they serve at most pizza places. We like going for walks. We agree on many political ideas. We’ve discovered a love of reading advice columns, not only to read about the wacky people out there but to find out what each other’s thoughts on a given situation are. Very enlightening. He has done a Master’s degree, I am currently working on one. His father did a master’s degree in history (despite the fact that he is now a lawyer) and his grandmother actually knows the professor in history who traumatized me in my third year. His undergrad is actually in history. (he switched from business mid way and his masters is actually something computer related)

With all that in common it makes it harder to think rationally on the subject. Especially when in the ‘honeymoon phase.’

Even so, with all of that, with all of that potential…right now I cannot see myself giving up my dreams. Selfish yes. But not anymore then me asking him to give up his own for mine. He is doing what he is passionate about right now and I deserve that same opportunity.

So if and when the time comes, we will have to have a discussion. We’ve already determined that. At thirty I think he would not be prepared to do the long distance thing again for the probably two years and I do get that because at twenty-six I would not be prepared to do it. Maybe half a year or a year max with visits. Maybe. Again, if and when the time comes, we will have to see where our relationship is and where is could go and where we want it to go. No simple answers but for something like this, perhaps, it should not be so simple.

I Procrastinate on a Monday.

2009-11-16T17:42:00.000-06:00

Weekend was alright. Friday I had a doctor’s appointment right after work, the boy picked me up, we relaxed a bit and then he surprised me by taking me to a restaurant like a month ago I said I had wanted to go to. A yummy South American place, that just opened, good vibe, good food, we split a bottle of rose, had a traditional meat/seafood/rice dish and just well talked.

Fine we were utterly sappy and couply, sitting there with handholding and candlelight and everything *gag*

We were trying to do the dinner and a movie thing as we realized we have never done it since we started seeing each other. Not that I mind we avoided first date typical things. Of course we had also known each other for awhile by the time he finally got to asking me out and even then I thought it was purely as friends. I mean really, it took him all of dodgeball and almost all of ultimate to ask me out? What if I had not joined the team? Our mutual friend never mixes his friends. I tease him about this sometimes, his slowness in asking me out even when a couple of our friends had figured it out. (as usual I had remained oblivious) He just replies that obvious it was meant to work out since I did join the team and I did drop the other guy because of him…

Too late for the movie, so just grabbed my stuff and crashed at his place. Saturday was kinda lazy earlier in the day, streamed a couple episodes of the office and traumatized him by making him watch an entire jem episode. (he had no idea that I had the dvd’s) He had work to finish at the office and I had work I could pretend to be doing…then back to his place. B came by and we split a bottle of wine and caught up while the boy went to a meeting, then he came back and made some salmon for dinner. Headed out and saw a movie, that did not end till 1:30 in the morning. Not so good considering he still had to pack (for his conference thing in another province) and we were getting up at 7:30a.m. Drove the boy to the airport at eight-thirty and hung around till his flight was called. Ran into B who was picking up his girlfriend from her flight back. Then gym class. Followed by a distinct attempt to be productive but was so tired, it did not work.

Boy gets back on Friday. This week shall try and catch up on sleep. Go to the gym everyday, try to catch up on schoolwork, try and have my workplan for a new project that I am proposing (dear lord the other person will not do anything, it is all going to be me, I hate the office environment sometimes or a lot of times) and try to catch up with friends. Scottish friend from the land of Oz phoned last week was nice and had a drink after work with hometown friend too. Hope to text, M, cbc friend and sister dear this week and see whats up. Right before she left for vacation cbc friend was texting me to do something but between our schedules…damn boy. Payday drinks at the usual Mexican place this week with the gang. Have the boys car so will just drive it into work that day, have drinks, then head to my aunt and uncles whom I am cat/dog/hamster sitting for and then head to the airport. It’s going to be a long week. Is it the weekend yet?

Survived a two hour meeting with my supervisor. Promised some deliverables. Tried to get motivated. Then listened in on a paper presentation by a former classmate. Long day. May just do gym and get to bed early.

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article6917495.ece

The fact that I read her blog when she was first actively blogging about her sex worker days makes me feel kinda old. As in would have been doing that during my undergrad days…anyways. Cool.

Monday-Almost Over

2009-11-09T17:25:00.002-06:00

A million things on my mind, many bad, many if not resolved, really bad.

But a couple positives in there. Sometimes I just have to keep living day to day to keep going forward. Or else I might curl up in a ball and cry.

Friday afterwork I met up with the ‘gang’ for happy hour. The boy met up with us too. Twas nice. Conversation went well and we stayed rather late before heading over to C&J’s for the rest of the evening. Bonded a bit with J, again nice, had not in awhile. Invited to Gray’s nights whenever I have an inkling. While I don’t really watch t.v at all these days, it would be nice.

(while I do watch a couple of shows, like the office, I rarely ever watch them at the appointed time but on my laptop when I have a moment, plus the boy lacks a t.v, internet and a cable connection-plus starting around the time I got the job, I started rarely being home before seven-fifteen if I go home at all-hard to maintain any sort of t.v schedule when you just have to catch up with friends/do your chores/sleep/party/work on thesis/go to family function)

J also informed me I should get the boy to take me to a certain restaurant, which I agreed with and that the true test of a relationship was traveling together for more then a weekend, like her and C, which I also agreed with. As I told the boy afterwards, it just means one of these days we are going to have to take a trip.

The thing that is nice about the boy is that he was already an old friend of D’s. He told us that me and him getting together, it felt like his two worlds were coming together. Which is true I suppose. Of course both B and D want to take credit for us getting together and a long somewhat drunken debate was held on this. It was not resolved and both continue to take credit. The boy insists he gets credit, which I disagree with as he did take his time. Anyways, the point is well, that so far it has worked okay. We even possibly want to take wine courses and dance lessons of all things. Dear lord. No. I am not turning into one of ‘those’ couples.

After C&J’s dropped by the parents place to gather up my stuff, then headed back to the boy’s place and just crashed.

Saturday he had a presentation in the morning and I was utterly lazy and just lounged around. We ran some errands in the afternoon and got the fixings for his infamous pizza. More about said pizza later. We also grabbed some wine for a wine and cheese thing for acquaintances of mine which was lovely. Is there a better combination then wine, cheese and interesting conversation? Oh and shots of very old cognac and vodka aged in a bottle with a pear? Or the boy, the poor boy having to help me to bed as I was a wee bit tipsy. Well he did find it rather amusing.

For brunch on Sunday we made our now favourite pizza ever. Dough from the Italian store, then instead of a tomato sauce base, we use cut up romaine tomatoes, pesto, mozzarella but not too much, a spicey Italian meat, maybe a couple of olives, a bit of olive oil and voila, best pizza ever. I have discovered with pizza the old saying is true. Less is more. I am also finding it handy to have a boy that cooks but in a healthy and random way.

For Halloween we went as the Avengers. I organized a Halloween Potluck at work and won best work appropriate costume. *woot woot* and won some of the tacky glasses I had bought for said contest.(I gave them to the boy as he lacks wine glasses and he had helped me make the taboule for the potluck-helped as in I bought the ingredients and cut the tomatoes and he made it) That night the boy and I had a pre-Halloween/housewarming party at one of his friend’s which was fun. I also crashed the rest of the weekend at his place. Which of course meant yummy fresh bread and cheese for brunch. The next night we first went to Russian friend’s place for her Halloween party followed by his friend’s party, which we stayed to what was utterly late and I have no idea what time we left except we realized this past weekend we drank a lot more vodka then we thought we had. Sunday we had yet another party to go to, a ‘thirty is the new sixty’ or ‘sixty is the new thirty’ party for one of his friends. We chose not to dress up and did not stay too long. More a social obligation then anything for him.

I briefly met his father when dropping by last week which was alright. Brief hello, in and out. This week am meeting his mother, grandmother, step-brothers and aunt and uncle, possibly more family. *sigh* Really do want to avoid this but alas no. As he has spent an evening with my parents, it is only fair. I just keep saying, woah, is this not too soon? Everyone apparently disagrees with me. They suck. My mother has also started inviting him to Sunday dinners. So far he has not been able to legitimately make them but alas, I think this is soon to end. Plus, what kind of comments are,
‘Your father enjoyed talking to him, he said he wasn’t just a little boyfriend or a girlfriend but he felt like he was talking to an adult.’
‘Mother-he is thirty, he is an adult.’
‘Yes but this is different’
‘Wha…? How so?’

A gala thing coming up in a month for a board the boy is on. A gala. What on earth does one wear to such things.

I suppose I fear we are moving too fast. Of course when I mention this, my friends ask, who defines as what is too fast? Me! On the other hand, it is nice to have a boy around sometimes. To be secure in a committed relationship. To have regular sex. To have someone to go to friend’s events. To have someone give you a ride. After years of complaining about being the ‘single girl’ at every single thing I was going to, I am no longer it.(or more clearly I have someone I can rely on to go to these things with) No idea where this is going and I am trying to not overthink it, like I do everything else. *trying* being the operative word. Again, this whole commitment thing…sometime I do freak that I will never again be able to go to the bar, eye up the boys and let possibilities happen. Then again, I do have almost guaranteed sex that night anyways. It’s not like I’m going to give up going out with the girls to the bar…but hey if at the end of the night he wants to pick my tipsy self up from the bar, fine with me.

And hey, a snuggle buddy during a long cold winter is always a plus.
Note to self. Avoid writing about said boy in gushy ways in the future. Refuse to become annoying. I am giving myself some allowances as this is early in the relationship and what is considered the ‘honeymoon phase’ and I have not been in a committed, proper relationship in years…but that is it!

Right. Go to gym. Finish argument for new records system at work and review files. Get the required five pages done on thesis.

Sleep.

2009-10-27T16:31:00.002-05:00

Lovely weekend. Friday had to stay late finishing up a project that got dumped on the boss and thus me at the last minute. Happy hour drinks with the boy and some of the gang. Then the boy made a lovely dinner. Seared tuna with a yummy sauce, (he was trying to replicate our favourite appetizer from our favourite restaurant) and a delicious salad. Afterwards headed to the pub for C’s birthday. Two amusing moments. As C was introducing us to his sister (or reintroducing? I’ve met her several times before…) he said, ‘…and this is swyrl and this is N…her boyfriend? I’m not quite sure’ Of course we had to say, yes, its more or less official. Obviously you have a life and did not notice the change in our fb info…I need a life…Second amusing moment was when some teammates came in and saw us sitting together and were all, ‘oh so you guys are together now? That’s great!’ That seems to be everybody’s general comment. Sort of odd when you think about it...

Saturday was the usual gym and chores followed by dinner with the boy. Went to a sushi place I had never been before. Apparently the guy who owns it trained all the best sushi chefs in the city and the boy used to work for him. Add in the fact that the boy speaks Japanese and lived in Japan and dinner was quite lovely. Afterwards…sigh. I succumbed. Went out for drinks with my parents at a place I hate. *groan* They wanted to meet him and I could put it off no longer. Was not too bad…but also drank several glasses of wine to compensate.

Watched a movie afterwards and just crashed. Sunday, the boy had an eleven a.m soccer game. *groan* And we slept in and we had to pick up a teammate. After the game and a shower we grabbed Saturday’s paper and walked from his place to try out the local pub for brunch. I knew the owner so we chatted a bit which was nice. Brunch was delicious and I decided what the hey and indulged in a mimosa. Yum! After went over to workmates house to look through her old costumes for Halloween ideas. Found a couple potential bits and was invited to a potluck next week. Yes, *sigh* I enter a relationship and suddenly I am getting invited to couple dinner parties. Also the boy apparently likes entertaining and wants to do a dinner party at one point. Honestly, why do I keep feeling like the stereotypical guy...So we did some grocery shopping, relaxed and then made dinner and then it was time to head home and I was left wondering where the hell my weekend went.

Tonight watching B and the boy curl and then getting out to the gym and then cleaning the room and hopefully organizing the wine courses we want to do so we can sign up at one of the places at least.

Hoping drinks with Krystan this week but will see. This weekend shall be hectic. Friday is the Halloween office potluck I am organizing, a haircut, then a pre-Halloween/housewarming party for the boy’s friends. This will be the first event for his friends that I will be going to. Saturday is Russian friend’s Halloween party and also another friend of the boy’s Halloween party, so the plan is to hit both of them. Sunday evening is yet another event for friend’s of the boy. A thirty is the new sixty party which I do not really want to dress up for, nor does the boy. So we will see. He really wants me to go to back him up…sigh. Plus the boy has crazy deadlines for Sunday and he has a eleven a.m soccer game on Sunday and we have to fit in brunch somewhere there…and yah.

Lets not think about the fact that November is going to involve me dogsitting, a possible trip to the states, the boy's mother's birthday (he in fact now wants me to meet his family which is only fair, he's met both my siblings and my parents now) really trying to focus on thesis, my father's birthday, possibly my cousin's birthday, ang's potluck...yes...busy busy...

Arg

2009-10-20T16:25:00.001-05:00

So yah. Put it on my facebook. Even if I still find it hard to say scary words like ‘boyfriend’ its on facebook. That and showing up together at my friend’s surprise party in front of all my friends, very much the declaration…arg arg arg. Not used to this whole ‘couple thing’ Arg.

Plus we already have scheduling conflicts! Grrrr. C’s birthday this Friday. But N’s friends who only get together every couple of months are having their thing on Friday! Then Monday the CS group is having a dining night out but that is also the night that we were planning to go to a movie premiere. N sits on some film board thing and gets free tickets. Arg. Plus we’ve been so busy since he’s gotten back that we have not even had time to use my free appetizer coupon at our favourite restaurant/wine bar. Even the night we had the birthday party, was the night I met up with Russian friend and a recently returned M to go see a band I love and we had to leave early to do so.

I did end up picking him up from the airport and I did gets some lovely presents. I got a beautiful blue kimono with pink cherry blossoms. Japanese lip gloss, a Japanese bell for my mobile because I keep losing it in my bag, a Japanese pouch for my ipod because I was using a sock oh and the best was I got him to go to the H&M in Japan and Sweden searching for the fingerless mittens I wanted. He brought me back two pairs because he was not sure which one I would want…

Sister dear and I went on a sister bonding night and did naughty bingo at a sort of sketchy bar. Great fun.

Wine fest with the boy after work drinks with L…both good fun.

Thanksgiving the usual crazyness/hectic/gossip filled family ‘fun’. But survived and only had to do one this year! Woot!

Lately it just feels like I do not stop going and I am just always tired. Not good. Trying to have a night in where I can be there so Scottish friend can actually phone me? Did not happen last week. Must sleep. Clean room. Work on thesis….arg.

September....? Where did you go?

2009-09-28T21:48:00.000-05:00

My whole fear of commitment is slowly waning…well it is still there…but well it is breaking down. An impromptu weekend at his lake helped. Sitting in his arms on the dock on the lake during a beautiful fall night, cuddled under a blanket, the stars burning brightly, brighter then I have seen them in a long time…and falling stars dammit. I mean, that cannot get any more perfect.

He made me breakfast! He left a box on my doorstep of presents for me for my birthday with notes. He picked up my tipsy self from a show. He knows dj’s and wants to go to shows with me. He already owned the cd of a local band I liked but had just not seen them live. Alright, so I am utterly superficial and the fact that he was featured in the national news…oh and my radio show producer friend was the one who found out about him (via twitter of all things) and was the first one to contact him and ask to interview him for her local show, which started the whole, everybody wanted to interview him thing…and she was impressed…alright, I am superficial that way. I am impressed. I find it attractive. Plus when he does actually dress up for business meetings (at embassies or with deputy ministers/ministers-you know the usual) he cleans up fairly well. (if only he would stop doing the goofy pose in so many pictures!)

He gets back from Japan/Europe on the seventh…we’ve been talking via fb/email while he has been gone…I am thinking though I might need some space, to get some perspective…which I was supposed to be doing but we’ve been talking on fb and via email. He wants me to pick him up at the airport. Dear lord. That spells commitment! Although apparently a weekend away does too. But I don’t think so. Have done that before and it was just about the fun, living in the moment. This on the other hand has long term implications. Again, what I am fearful of?

When he came up to my lake during the long weekend, I told him he would be better suited to my sister. Older, mature, looking for a long term relationship, he had been in one for six and half years afterall. (my sister had been in one for almost five years...) He was sorta annoyed with that. Funny thing was my mother has decided my sister needs more friends or apparently I am the one who will find her, her next boyfriend. Even asking me to get my sister to join me when I am out with my friends. (I have in the past...) I told her she would not like the one group of friends, being the types who go to bars, drink and see shows and have sex. Anyways, the funny thing was when I mentioned him to my mother and that he had been in the national news, she asked me more about him and declared him perfect for my sister. He found that not so much funny as, ‘what is up with your family?!!’ I think my past dating/fling/non-commitment relationships have well…not encouraged her to think anyone remotely stable would be my type.

So utterly confused at this point. Am even more mixed up then I was in the beginning when I told him I wanted to take it slow and not be in a relationship.

Of course when I tell my friends that I want to take it slow, with an athletic guy, who owns his own company, been in the news, has lived in Sweden/Japan/Spain, speaks at least two languages fluently and a couple others a bit, loves to cook, loves wine and cheese, left me the aforementioned present, doesn’t want to stay here like me, owns his own car, well they want to beat me with a stick.

One of the things holding me back I think is our vastly different relationship experiences…just not sure if it can be bridged.

But well, I have enough to worry about, as I am behind to the point of well, practically criminality on everything in my life. Very overwhelming.

Plus I have been keeping busy with friends. Afterwork drinks with ‘the gang’ on Friday, only to come home, change and go out again for radio friends birthday at one of my favourite pubs. Good fun, but spent far too much money and really fuzzy at the end. Also hungover most of Saturday and spent the majority of the day chatting with the boy via fb. I have determined that I am really really far too old for such things and I will be a good girl from now on. Recovered in time to go out to a wedding social with Russian friend. Food was delicious and since it was a Filipino wedding social, I got to watch awesome line dancing to pop music by older ladies.

Sunday, puttered about a bit, cleaned, listened to some chill music, tried to do schoolwork then headed out to cute musician’s dad’s business. (cute musician who is now dating another friend of mine…sigh, but truly they probably suit each other better artistically then he and I would) We watched Planet Earth and The Big Lebowsky on a massive screen, with apparently some of the best sound in the city (?) and munched on vegan pizza. Yum! Was invited out to see a show that night but decided I really should head home…only to talk more with the boy. Arg.

Last week I also began my new job. For the first time in what seems a long time. I went to work. I went to the gym. I came home. I relaxed. That was it. I have not had a schedule like that in a long while and seeing how exhausted I was every evening, well maybe I have been overdoing it some weeks. But not overdoing it in really super productive things like my thesis. Arg.

This weekend I have not set plans. There are two shows I kind of want to see on Friday and Saturday but I have no one to see the show with on Friday, so am debating about that one. If parents go away to the lake again, may just have a night in. Or a weekend in…might be a good idea. Really focus on thesis. Except my sister now apparently wants to do ‘naughty bingo’ at some sort of hotel for sister bonding time. I am rather leery of this plan but, well, try anything once and all that.

Then the boy gets back the next week…and I may or may not pick him up from the airport. Either way, got a feeling I will be see him the next night. Then a music fest starts and I am already planning on seeing one show with Russian friend, the night of a birthday for another friend…and checking out another with the boy. Told radio friend about it and we may check out a show or two, too. Funny, the bands are bands from across Canada and I recognized most of them and had actually seen several of them live…random. I also know one of the musicians from the local band (cute musician) and randomly partied with another during a festival when they showed up at the cabin. Random.\

I keep expecting things to slow down…but they haven’t yet and with the whole starting a new position and the whole, has the potential to get insane in the next couple of months…I am feeling rather overwhelmed.

So many new things starting and so many old things to wrap up….

2009-09-27T03:14:00.001-05:00

http://cbcca.a.mms.mavenapps.net/mms/rt/1/site/cbcca-cbc-news-pub01-live/current/launch.html?maven_playerId=thenational&maven_referralObject=10072142

Chillin-Wish I Could

2009-09-15T18:33:00.002-05:00

Friday was flight of the conchords and wine and cheese with the boy...twas nice...

Kept my birthday pretty lax this year...friend took me out for drinks on Saturday and then to see one of my favourite dj's. Then the boy picked me up, crashed at his place before I insisted at four a.m to drive me home in some of the worst fog I have ever seen in the city...just felt like my own bed...

Sunday puttered about, checked out a cool festival downtown with the boy, then family birthday dinner and then more time with the boy...

Monday slept in, met fave workmates for sushi lunch and got a free sushi pizza for my bday!!! Wandered back to the farther bus stop, stopping to read by the fountain and then by the river...one of the hottest days so far...

Came home, opened presents. I have finally joined the rest of the technological world and own an ipod nano. No more cd player at the gym! B texted me and asked what I was up to and if I wanted to do something for the evening. Ended up being about five of us, just having some wine, with some fairly decent music, cute waiter on a patio on a warm summers evening...bliss...sushi and wine...some good friends...birthday was complete.

Did not bother organizing a big party thing. Way too busy/exhausted lately, tying up old job, thesis, people, family, and the billion and one things really stressing me out now, none of which has been resolved. Instead have just seen everybody/plan to see everybody in smaller or individual groups...

New job starts next week as the exec assistant to the second in command. Somewhat intimidating. Really want to live up to everybody's expectations and not fail my new boss. I hate expectations. Was not sure if I was even going to take the job, more stress, new skills, crazy hours during certain times, boss intimidating, high expectations from everybody...

...but better pay, related to my field, work I would be doing would really give me good experience and allow me to branch off into other jobs. Plus with my old work and know everybody anyways, like where I work and most importantly willing to give me one day off a week for thesis writing. Plus the title sounds kind of fancy.

Ultimate wind up Saturday. Possibly whine & wine tomorrow night with hometown mate and possibly having a 'night out' on Friday. If not, will probably be with the boy as he is leaving on Sunday for japan/europe (one night in London with cousins but has not decided on sweden or spain or dublin yet...) for trade conference/catch up with friends. Think this will be a test if I want to actually commit to a proper relationship or not...

Grandparents over tonight for more family time for my birthday. Survived family bonding time at the parents new cabin at the lake for the long weekend. It involved:

-3 hours of monopoly as my brother insisted on playing till the bitter end-I just wanted to loose but I kept doing well accidentally
-Getting high with brother dear
-Beach shannagins on a beautiful night with a full moon....the boy came up-just happened to have family with a place...
-Trivial pursuit-the eighties version-I love the o.j questions-he was a football guy before he was a murderer?
-two days in a row on the beach with mother and sister dear
-walking around a familiar town-my parents are less then a five minute walk from it and I have been coming up to this lake as long as I can remember and the same with my own father
-too much family time
-beautiful sunny weather
-a swim or two in the lake
-A ride up to the lake with brother dear and father illegally lying on a couch that had to be put on the folded down backseat and trunk...much more hilarious and illegal if you saw it-have to admit-it was the comfiest three hours I have ever had up there
-The smell of the forest, of the lake...
-Being somewhere so familiar to the point the town has literally not changed one bit since I have been coming up

That was just the highlights....

August came and went, I barely had a moment to catch my breath and September has been the same. I keep waiting for my life to slow down but it has yet to happen. I want to have dedicated time at home so scottish mate can call me but I am just never here for one reason or another.

That is me lately.

I guess.

garg

2009-09-10T17:48:00.003-05:00

I make inarticulate sounds...

Such an up and down turbulant/good/bad time since last I posted. Will have to do a proper update on that probably, at some point. I am stressed/super busy and have had many a sleepless night. Yet things are almost going well? I will see next week. Actually I will see about a lot of things next week. Perhaps I should have waited till next week...

With the fiasco that was filmaker...someone who of course turned into an assole..story of my life I am somewhat wary of anything new. Everybody of course says he is perfect for me. He owns his own small company/been featured in the news/traveled/lived in two different countries/has a masters degree/lives on his own/own car/speaks two other languages/physically active/loves cheese/loves to cook/does not plan on staying here the rest of his life...

And yet...where is that sparkage? According to workmate, sparkage is often mistaken for assoleness, which I am well experienced with.

So maybe I am trying to give it a whirl. Get away from the type of guys I am usually attracted to. Keeping it super casual. After filmaker I just cannot jump into anything else...but is that a sign? But no, keep is casual, figure it out, technically still single. He knows how I feel, have repeated we are not a couple, I have plans to leave here, we can both see other people which he is fine with...but for how long is the question...

In terms of planning...next week I can make a lot of plans...but I have to wait...either way I am hoping April. April could be the month of my great escape. *sigh* Best laid plans...I had hoped to be gone by June then July and then September...the best plans are no plans...I cannot believe I am going to be here for yet another winter...I shall not survive.

South America Anyone?

2009-08-18T19:33:00.000-05:00

I have been dreaming more and more about South America lately. Plus I keep randomly meeting people who have been there/lived there. The last time I felt like this I ended up in London. Although I have to admit if I were to go to South America it would be under different circumstances then when I was twenty-two. Then, I felt like I was fleeing something, this time…not so much.

I do want to finish my thesis. I feel I owe it to myself to get that degree. Even if I am not sure I want to do anything with it at the moment. I know I can get work in international organizations with it and that is not something I want to loose out on.

The thing is, I want to live in South America. (yes I am referring to an entire continent) I have been to Europe three times and two of those times I have lived there for a period of nine months to a year and a half. I felt I experienced the places I was living in or at least the expat scene. (which I have to admit, I did indulge in while in London and really is not a good thing)

I feel I cannot just go to South America for a period of a month or two. I used Geneva and London as base camps to explore even more…I like that way of traveling now. It is hard to imagine exploring an entire continent in a mere month. I want to stay in one place or one local and just absorb it all…not to say that I would not be willing to keep traveling around...or that I would not take a trip because I could not live and work there. With my health issues I would be wary of living in India but would still love to see it, as long as I knew I was going to see a western doctor afterwards. My health, I do take seriously, especially when traveling.

What I am trying to get at and as per usual have started rambling, is I would love to work and live in South America, in perhaps Argentina, Peru or Chile. The countries I currently really want to see.

Of course I do not speak the language or have a transferrable/high in demand job. Especially, and yes I am going to use the phrase that I hate, ‘ in today’s economy.’

Even if I did, am I willing to abandon the life I have built up here since returning in January? For more uncertainty? Lets face it, my almost soon to be profession does not lend itself to great amounts of cash, letting me leave for months on end, or letting me travel while doing it on the road. The last two times, going to London and Geneva I had no compunction about leaving. Not a second thought. What is making this time different?

Additionally I have been complaining for months, that I want to finish my degree, move out, and yes, want a relationship that is going to last longer then my stay or his stay in a country.

Yet that itchy feeling remains. A change of cities could perhaps solve this. My plan is definitely not to end up here for the rest of my life.

I suppose for now it is best to concentrate on the now. Finish thesis, find job till December, save money…pay bills.

I feel like I am stagnating. Again. I have to have goals to work towards and unlike most people here, they tend not to involve owning big screen tv’s, suv’s, shoes, handbags or houses…on the other hand, not exactly earning the type of money right now for such things!

I think I need a good run to clear my head.

Dear August

2009-08-11T16:23:00.002-05:00

Two weeks ago you looked so blank. Not a square was filled and now…

Sister Dear’s Birthday party at bar I hate
B’s Birthday bbq
Boat of Funk
Helping Sister Dear move (a day in itself)
Class drinks
Yes another festival with filmmaker and friends of his
Ultimate Championship weekend
Music fest weekend
Parent’s new cabin at the lake
Monday ultimate games
Soccer in the park…N invited me out again and I really must take him up on his offer
Opa's Birthday

The Last Little Bit Or So...

Festival-long weekend-fun-wine-smoked lamb-tents-walking-vikings-fireworks-sword fights-dancing-random people-dj’s-beach-sand-water-tired
Ultimate-won-they sucked-we got tired-they got better
N interested-boy slow-not waiting-more out there-front page of local paper-N now frisbee boy
Filmaker-confusing-what does he want-friend-with almost benefits-pavilions-scotland-caribean-dancing-beds-tea-lattes that look like cappacino’s-no idea-head-wall
Sister-birthdays-family-friends-Thursday-Saturday wasted-sister mad-bored-sober-sister drunk-sister hungover-cleanup-fun-not so much
Wednesday-hangout-B-flight of conchords-wine-dog-frisbee
Tuesday-hometown friend-sagria-yummy-friend-sad
Dinner-interesting friends-wine-pasta-laughter-flight of the conchords-french-cute-musicians-conversation-lovely evening

Tired.

To Sum up the Last Week or So:

2009-07-31T14:48:00.000-05:00

Farewell on field-Kinda Boring-Fire-Whirlpool-Wine-Pool-Friends-Frisbee-Tired-1 AM-Ride Home
Relaxing-Jog-Dog-Flowers-Water-Neighbors
Festival-Wine in Can-Delicious-Friends-Documentary-Very interesting-Beer Gardens-Creepy Vendor in Hotel Bar-King sized cans of bad beer-3 AM snack-Yummy lipchpa-Being held-A Kiss-More-Long walk-Good Talks-Silence
Sleep in-brunch-relax-happy-a kiss-stupid busses
Ultimate-won-running-good-no rain-Flirting?
Dog-Running-Nerd-Torchwood-Wine-Herbed Cheese-Books
Jazz bar-live band-friends-home before one a.m-stupid busses

Afternoon-Dragging-Raining-Pouring-Wet-Umbrella-Broken-Wind-Skirt-Not good-Need new panties-Merlot time?

Preview:
May be out-if not-run-dog-Chilean red-Roasted Garlic-Crackers-bubble bath-flight of the concords

Small town-cabin-possible rain-music-Iceland-festival-beach-wine in a can

Meet ups-Monday-Not sure-good or bad-Meaning-Feelings-ego?

Monday Blues and the Cure

2009-07-27T16:30:00.002-05:00

I could chat about my weekend. But not right now. Right now, today at this moment I am grateful for certain friends that I do have in my life even if I do not see them that often or hangout all the time.

L was back and being utterly sensible at lunch and letting me rant away. Then she sent me an email along the lines of…
“You can only email him if he emails you first! That is the rule…or txt or whatever…so that means if you go out and drink you cannot drunk dial!!! “
For some reason I found this hilarious.

Actress workmate and I just laugh and have such good talks throughout the day. I really enjoyed her show and our conversations have such good range. Today she asked me a question about a data entry thing, I gave her a time estimate, she sent it of her boss, who asked my boss if I could do it instead of her and sent round an email back to both of us, and we found this sorta of amusing for a Monday.

Good people. I think its why I enjoy work here despite the actual work I do.

Cat and I spent the weekend texting each other at the most inappropriate times and so very hilarious texts stupid/drunken texts. What I was texting her Sunday morning and what she was saying back…dear lord. We are convinced we need weekly phone calls. I want to crazy dance with her!!

I miss Scottish friend and her phone calls but with her new job in the land of Oz…it is hard.

I miss Una and our lazy afternoon shopping/brunches and just dancing.

I was all annoyed this morning and then I thought of these people who have come in and out of my life and well, it brought a smile to my face. Just what I needed.

The Week and Weekend and Lack of Sleep

2009-07-24T16:30:00.000-05:00

I am wide awake now but I know I am going to crash around two or three later on…right in the middle of a project meeting. Lovely. Caffeine anyone? Also, why did I not know that caffeine is spelled with an ‘e’??

I think I am getting old. I was adding the Black Eyed Peas latest song to my youtube playlist and I was actually watching the video and I was sort of confused. Okay so they are all getting ready to go party and have an awesome night and keep doing it every night. Kudos to them, must be nice to have a job that supports such activities. But I was kind of confused at Fergies outfit…is she a prostitute? Are the rest of the band her pimps? Are they really showing this to children? Is one of the guys really telling a woman in a bikini to ‘take it off’ with hand motions? The video is a wee bit of a fail.

Like the song though. Gets me in the mood to head on out.

Or to start a dance party at work at nine a.m.

Ultimate Monday. No lady spares. Played for two and a half hours with like one or two breaks. Also played one of the more ‘run all over the place’ positions because I guess I am one of the more ‘athletic’ girls. Yah…weird. With all the heat just about died though. N and I played it together a lot. He invited me to play with him and some mates on Sundays and Wednesday, soccer in the park which I think I may take him up on occasionally. Better then the gym! More fun!

Saw the my friend’s play on Tuesday with my mother. ‘Twas nice mother/daughter bonding time. She picked me up after work, we picked up our tickets (I got a free ticket) and then went to a cute little Mexican play for some wine.(one of those places you have to know where it is to know it exists) Play was perhaps not my mom’s cup of tea but I think she could appreciate the excellent acting in it, the message and the little factoids in between. Afterwards picked up sister dear from a photo shoot, went to a classic place for a light dinner then headed over to house-sitting place to get the low down with brother dear. Then laundry and cleaning the rest of the night. So exciting.

Wednesday went straight to grandparents for dinner after work because Uncle was in town for a couple of evenings which means more family time. So instead of checking out a couple of plays I spent time helping my grandfather check his email. This is not as easy as it sounds. As I had missed my cousin’s birthday on Monday I felt obliged to go to this one even though it is the other side of the family. I would say I think this is it for family obligations for awhile…but probably not.

Afterwards headed to housesitting house and went on a run with the dog and really learned about the lives on the other side. As in, man made lakes with light up fountains in the middle and people who’s houses border on the lakes all have freaking paddleboats, certain streets have pillars with the name of the street engraved on them and partially cobblestoned…and the ‘punks’ of the area wondering around loudly proclaiming how ‘they would beat up that guy.’ Yah huh. Stick you guys in the ‘bad end’ of the city and see if you last one minute like that. Also met brother dear’s latest girlfriend.

Last night was…much fun. Easy conversation…and a guy who dances…willingly…says lets go up, it’s a good song…his roomie was a dj there and got us in free. 90’s night and a surprisingly young crowd. Had to convince him it did not get busy till midnight. Been awhile since I had been on a Thursday. Not since Scottish friend left. One our Thursday night ladies nights we would sometimes end up there afterwards if I did not have a presentation in class the next day…or sometimes if I did. *stupid*

I miss her.

Stayed till they kicked us out…then…well nothing too scandalous.

I headed home eventually in a cab. Home by threeish. Was a good girl. I think. Although I messaged a friend via fb and she was laughing at me today and saying she would have ‘gone for it.’

He said he realized how lucky it was, that he has always known what he wants to do and has pursued it. It is not elitist when he says that everybody has the potential to do something like write a novel, or create music or a film or travel but like I always say, what are you wiling to sacrifice to do so? That is what it comes down to. Are you willing to pour your whole self into, that may never make you a lot of money or fame or security and stability and spend ten hours a day doing because you love it? He asked me what do I want to do and while I know I want to finish this thesis and get the damn degree because I do not want to start and then not finish something but after that? I really do not know anymore. International organization would be ideal of course but…is that really what I want to get into? Or is there something more?

What am I passionate about dammit.

Got home and checked email and the busses and most of my Swiss mates were on starting their day and chatted with a couple who were wondering why the hell I was up when I had to be up the next morning. Although it was technically morning…N was also on, working stupid late. Poor guy. Guess that happens when you run your own company. He did try and say he had gone to his soccer game after work and then met up with a friend for a drink before heading back into the office, but still.

Tonight am headed out to V’s farewell. Out on her in-laws place near a small town. Almost had to camp over but luckily someone is coming home tonight. Thank goodness. I love my friends but not setting up a tent in a middle of a freaking field for a farewell. Why on earth they are having it out there and making it largely inconvenient for everyone…shall go home in a couple, relax, feed dog ect. Figure out my ride, ect.

And then it is the weekend…good be really good or bad…am not sure yet…

Someone drives a bloody vespa and leaves it at my building. I want to find out who this person is and demand a ride.

But I was a good girl...

2009-07-24T03:30:00.002-05:00

...no really I was! Go me! It may be almost four a.m and I may have to work at eight thirty and no I am not drunk but yes I have been dancing and talking all night and well maybe I did certain...anyways, in general by anywhere else in the world I was good darnit. Damn this city!

In Review

2009-07-17T16:18:00.002-05:00

Weekend was lovely. Saturday was coolish but still good. Also only one couple! Woot! Good fire and marshmallows and wine. Went into Kenora for a couple of hours. Sat on the dock. Did some reading. D’s parents have a spot right on the lake in a fairly secluded bay with a breathtaking view. So very lucky. Sunday was the warmest. Poor J was utterly hungover. Sorta cute as obviously he is very rarely hungover. Lack of mosquitoes or mass amounts of mosquitoes was awesome. Sunday spent most of the day lounging on the dock in my bikini interrupted only by a boat ride in a very fast boat around the lake and dips into the lake. Heaven. Chilaxing on the dock with some friends, a sunny day, some tunes…this is what summer here is all about. Almost made up for missing the festival. Almost.

Wine then tea last night with hometown friend. Between her jobs, illness and school and my job, school and vacation and wedding, we have not seen in each other in like a month. So we caught up for a couple hours and swore we would not let this much time pass again. She wants to do next Thursday or Friday but I may be reserving next Thursday and Friday is V's farewell in the country...plus C now wants me to play on the original ultimate team on Thursdays as they lack girls now due to various reasons.

Where has July gone and where is it going?

Saturday is a bbq at Brian’s but I have no other plans this weekend. Monday is the usual ultimate. Mother dear and I are headed to the Fringe play my friend is managing on Tuesday. It is not really her thing at all but I think she really wants to do some mother/daughter bonding time. Did not even invite permanently grumpy sister along. (honestly she has a new boyfriend, she is moving out, she has a laptop, she has a part-time teaching gig for the fall and will sub the rest of the time-what on earth does she have to be grumpy about?If I were here I would be jumping for joy!Okay not really but still!)

I start housesitting on Wednesday. Again looking forward to it but the only problem is the lack of accessible public transport and car. My brother is supposed to housesit with me till the first, when he moves into a friend’s place for a month, which I did not mind originally. But now that he too lacks a car (he managed to total it like two weeks after he paid off the loan to my parents but just found out that his insurance gave him back more then what the car cost even with the deductable taken off-how does he do it??! He lives a charmed life…) and this is a boy who needs his car. Anyways. Obviously no point in putting away my suitcase. I swear very few people have lived out of their suitcase as much as I have or used it as much as I have.

Period started today and has left me drained. So probably just going to get my new contacts, some wine and then gym and then head home and have an early start tomorrow. Would love to do farmer's market. Should text L...also thesis and gym tomorrow. Radio friend and I are hoping to do patio soon, perhaps this weekend if the weather actually is nice...we will see.

Funny thought. I had a bikini wax before I left and a gyno exam this week. These women have seen more of me then most people in the most awkward way possible...not sure if this is weird or not...

Well I would say woo hoo Friday, the fact that I should be working on my thesis this weekend makes Friday not so much a big deal.

But none the less, Happy Friday

Random Edmonton Highlights

2009-07-17T16:11:00.002-05:00

-Mojito time-every day-Cat is an excellent mojito maker
-Watching excess amounts of the Flight of the Conchords-both drunkenly and not
-Homemade brushetta at four a.m after a night of partying at a random person’s house and drinking till six a.m (I stopped around four-I just cannot do it anymore-I am old)
Ghost Tour! I now know where the most people in strathcona have been killed! Also it was pouring, we were soaked and the guide lent us her umbrella-Surprisingly despite pouring rain and it being a Thursday night it was a good crowd and only five dollars
-Cat getting her first speeding ticket on the way to Calgary-alright it is actually a bad thing but we had never been pulled over before and the sheriff was kind of nice at the end too warning us about other speed traps ahead-but it was kind of amusing when Cat was like, ‘ah! there is a sheriff’s car with flashing red lights behind me! What do I do? Do I just pull over anywhere?Am I far enough over?! What do I do?!’ Then the cop was talking to us and he was like, well I clocked you at 130 km/h but then when I got in behind you, you actually increased your speed to 140 km/h’ (speed limit is 110)
-Singing along to our favourite songs on road trips or any car trips in general
-Getting Cat a behind the scenes tour of the archives! I’ve got connections! She really enjoyed all the technical aspects of it too
-The wine store guys being all super flirty-sweethearts
-Alright I admit it, making out with a hot stranger on the dance floor while rather tipsy--Loose a couple of inhibitions and suddenly I am awesome at flirting-my problem is overthinking I tell you
-Dinner one evening-salad and soup, cheese and crackers-a bottle of wine, some music playing in the background, sitting next to the window as the sunset…bliss
-Having tea at her favourite place and being comfortable enough with each other to not even have to speak the whole time-just read a magazine and sip our tea…make occasional comments about what we are reading
-Brunch!! I love brunch!!
-Lunch at a cute little outdoor café-tired and hungover but chatting away…flirty waiter
-Fireworks-we were kind of far away but where we sat half of Edmonton was sitting too
-Just seeing Cat for the first time since December 2006 when I walked through the door and getting a massive hug
-Trapped in a tavern in Calgary by blinding pouring rain and reminiscing about old times in our hostel-Some of the people she had mentioned I had forgotten about-Funny about what we remember and what we do not remember
-Arriving fifteen minutes lake to A Comedy of Errors and spending the next fifteen trying to figure out what the hell was going on (give me a break it has been years since I have read it!) Then having some wine while watching the second half.
-Telling Cat not to worry that her wine bottle was broken…as long as she had a screwdriver! *sigh* This time I had to open a bottle of champagne with it. I really do hope this is the last time I have to open wine or champagne this way…never say never I know I know I am so utterly classy…at least I amused Cat and we got our damn champagne
-Random club playing only nineties pop (that the three of us knew all the words to) before experiencing a club-‘alberta style’ Never Again.
-Lovely dinner with her parents, nana and one of her sisters
-Again just having someone who knows you well and have known for so long to go out on the town and have a big night but also stay in and watch t.v with a glass of wine and be nerdy enough to enjoy the Archives!
-J’oclock!

Also felt really weird to not have to worry about changing my currency, having access to my bank as in my bank existed there, speaking the same language and being able to take public transport easily and not having to go through Customs on the other end and not getting my passport stamped or having to show it. Drivers license was enough! Weird! Assigned seating! Weird! No long queue through customs on the other end. Weird! No passport stamp…boooooooo

2009-07-10T16:22:00.001-05:00

I felt like I needed to write an entry. Not sure why. But well, here it is. Lots to say, I have started an entry a couple times and then gone…meh. It’s not like I have not been having an alright time…hmmm

Lovely time at the wedding, classiest affair I had ever been to, open bar, free champagne beforehand, good time with that group of friends. Food delicious, music good, speakers hilarious, couple so very much in love that it was almost inspiring. Kinda still wanted to be at the cs campout but the wedding really was not to be missed. Fathers Day was alright, brunch with just the five of us and then dinner with the grandparents. Good fun in Edmonton too, we did go out but we also took it easy. Many homemade mojitos were had. Will write up highlights later.

Been none stop since I got home Tuesday morning. I went into work for the afternoon. Started unpacking when I got home, did some laundry. After the next day, ended up randomly doing patio drinks with a history mate who was in town from Toronto for the week. Between our two schedules it had to be that night. So lovely time, good conversation, beautiful weather. I really love his passion for his political activism work and loved hearing about it and we did one of those everything and nothing conversations I love. Last night met up with filmmaker around eight. Crazy stupid winds, felt like I was in a wet tornado. Poor guy tried to get something filling but vegetarian at this sports bar. Not so much. Afterwards headed over to the pub we originally met to go to before freak storm winds. We played darts and the fact that both of us had no idea how to actually play it had no relevance on anything as he cheats anyways. Really good conversation, I loved hearing about his travels…his documentaries…about South America…Next thing we knew the bar was deserted and we thought we had better get going. What we did not realize was that it was past one a.m. We both lost track of time and thought it was like ten or eleven. I love those moments of realization!

Off to the cabin tonight. Only going to be five of us. But I reckon it will be a lovely time. Only one couple! Plus then I do not feel so bad about not being at the festival. I plan on bringing books and not playing a lot of board games and swimming and boating and lying on the dock. Hoping weather will improve and not continue to be tornado like. Filmmaker and I were going to try and do dinner this weekend but alas I am gone the whole weekend and then he leaves Monday to shoot a video in New York.

This last month I swear has been horrible for meeting up with people! Weekend after that is free but he is not back till Saturday and I have a bbq on Saturday and I plan on getting serious work done on the thesis on that day. Still have yet to meet up with hometown friend and in the weeks preceding it was fairly busy for both of us. It has been far too long. She did do my hair for the wedding and adore her for doing it. A chic updo. Made the time before work to do it for me! Also would want to catch up with Russian friend (not sure if she still plans on leaving for a couple months starting in August) and schedules permitting,(she is insanely busy) radio friend. Text both of them…fringe is starting and perhaps we can catch some shows. The weekend after that is V’s farewell at her in-laws place with a possible campout on the property. But we will see about that. It is also the opening for the documentary. Which I am trying to get one of my workmates to come see but it will depend on if she has to manage her own show that night or not. Then I have nothing for the rest of the summer planned, not even the long weekend and I reckon this will be good thesis time. Besides of course gym time and ultimate time and thesis time and job and looking for job. Okay looking at those things is making me tired.
Almost hometime and I have to get home, finish unpacking Edmonton and then pack for lake and wash my hair.

What’s sad is how my plans keep changing…sometimes this is good, sometimes this is sad. Originally plan was to be gone by July and then new plan was September and now…well I still wish I could just up and leave it all. But what I am willing to do to make that happen and what am I willing to sacrifice for it? That is what is all comes down to really…

More to come...thoughts on doing what you are passionate about...travel...Edmonton...my career plans...my thesis...

I feel Guilty For:

2009-06-23T18:24:00.003-05:00

Not spending enough time on my thesis.
Spending far too much money on alcohol/going out-which could be going towards some fantabulous trip.

I have also been rather busy. Ultimate games have been interesting. Last week there were no lady spares. Guess who ran around for two hours. This week, still had to double shift but not quite as bad. But was stupidly hot. Went out for drinks afterwards, I stuck to water. We have lost both recent games.

Wedding for friends on Saturday. Basically the classiest affair I have ever been too. Champagne was served for two hours before the reception even started. Surprisingly was not drunk. Nice wedding,good friends, open bar, dancing, pretty bride, fireworks, crashed at V's place afterwards.

Friday was V's birthday. Nice to hangout but I really wanted to be at a CS thing in Morris. Knew most of the people going...

Sunday did double father's day duty. Brunch with the family then spent the afternoon helping the mother get ready for fathers day dinner/oma's birthday with my oma and opa.

Too much family, my sister agrees. Since March it has been at least one thing a week. Last week it was Grandma's 65th at the golf course. The week before that, sister's convocation, the week before that, Grandpa's birthday. This week its cousin's 'one year sober/drug free' party. For some reason the after party is at a bar. Because that seems kinda a wee bit, wtf, I am hoping to get out of it. But we will see.

Last night was ultimate, tonight is laundry night, tomorrow is cs thing at the park, thursday is either cousin's thing or costume museum thing/packing for Edmonton.

Then it's Edmonton till the seventh!!! So very excited.Cat texted me today...'three more sleeps!!' Exactly what I was about to text her!

Then it's D's cabin on the weekend. Was supposed to do a festival but alas cannot take anymore time off work. So, Lake of the Woods for the weekend it is. Then it is, I believe a free weekend then it is supposed to be V's going away thing out in the country somewhere for the night.

Weekend before that hung out with Russian friend, had a fire, had some wine by the fire, had some good conversation with wine by the fire, social was meh and had a lovely two hour brunch outside with my sister at one of my fav vegan cafe's.

Yes, I am supposed to be writing a thesis in there and yes, I should be saving money not spending it. Yes, the guilt is eating away at me.

Walking during my lunchbreaks with old boss, loving the weather.

Must go and finish app for job in Brussels.

Missing Geneva but busy enough to not be moping too much and Edmonton is soon enough.

zzzzzzzz

2009-06-11T18:27:00.000-05:00

Tired. I do not believe I can do it like I used to. Luckily too much thinking is not required. Up till about tw-thirty/three…I have put in lovely little headings to show you how organized I intend to be this summer…last night was a one off…I think…

New Job

Last week during my sisters convocation old workmate texted me and offered a position for the summer which I of course accepted. They have odds and ends for me to get done and I am happy to do it. Not the most exciting of work or best of pay but, its nine-five type job, an office, I know the people and do not have to deal with the whole learning curve thing. Plus she texted me on Thursday and asked if I could start on Monday…yes!! She knows about Edmonton too, just not the dates so I do not have to worry about dropping that bombshell either.

In terms of my thesis I hope to donate an evening or two a week to my thesis and Saturdays. I also decided to renew my gym membership and have been going pretty regularly for it to be worth it. Pricey of course…but I surprisingly am almost starting to enjoy the half hour run. If I can get into ‘the zone’ and my cd does not skip.(yes while I will spend money alcohol I will not just buy an mp3 player already) I want to move up to forty-five minutes but the machines do not let you do it. Grrr.

Sisters convocation last week. Really boring, when they do not even get to the grads until about two hours in. Weirdly enough it was also Cat’s sister’s convocation. (they used to be friends and are the same age)

Brother and I spent most of the time texting each other and playing twenty questions via pen and convocation booklet.

Hanging

Mainly hung out with hometown mate this weekend which was fine. Bar on Friday, definitely not my type but had not been there since they had redone it. I tend to be willing to try a place at least once. Was feeling rather ill on Saturday evening but still went out for a couple drinks. Still an ongoing process figuring out what I can and cannot eat. Luckily she may not have what I do but is also lactose intolerant but worse. (as in no cheese unlike me)

Dinner/shopping with V on Tuesday, I wanted her opinion and wanted to see her as much as I could before she leaves in July. Really nice time. Good conversation. We never really clicked as friends friends, but we are still friends if that makes sense. We have a lot of shared history. I know her from my last year of high school when I worked at the cheap cinema. Makes me sort of nostalgic when I think about those days…and her leaving is like one more link breaking…do not quite know how to say it…hmmm. Missed her wedding last summer due to internship in Geneva and I do really wish I had made it.

Wednesday was a CS meeting which was pretty fun. Usual familiar faces, plus some new ones. One of them being this cute filmmaker…we were sitting apart originally but we moved onto a new location and were still sitting apart but could actually see each other now and we sort of gave each other ‘the look’ a couple of times.(your eyes meet and you maybe give a smile and sort of acknowledge you perhaps find them cute) I did not bother coming over but he came over to me…Later we got to chatting a wee bit but by that time we were all a bit tipsy and I do not trust anything at that point. As we were leaving he asked where I was working and I told him and he suggested lunch…

Of course he does not have a mobile so he could not give me his mobile number and could not take mine? He could have been asking for my mobile number to phone via landline but it was also one-thirty in the morning, so I am not sure if he was asking for my number or not. Was so very tired. But if he wants to find me I am on the site, so we will see if he does within the next day or two. I am really interested in the film he will be showing here and where he has traveled in South America so I at least hope we have a chance to chat in the future. I have been dreaming about South America lately…Anyways, it was nice to flirt. Apparently I will need the practice for the social I am going to on Friday which will be filled with firemen, as two firepeople, (yes they met because both him and her are firepeople) are getting married. Old workmate knows them somehow and insisted I come, if only to have some eyecandy.

Public Transport

Back to last night, took the bus home, woo hoo, no drunks at the bus stop. As I was checking the times (I was on time) some other girls were too and we started chatting and the dark haired chick sorta looks at me funny and says, did you go to blank. (my former high school) I replied that yes I had gone and she told me that she had thought I looked very familiar. I find this weird. What is up with people not even in my grade (she was a year older then me, hometown friend a year younger) recognizing me in the most random of places and knowing me from high school. She just happened to be in the city for a family thing with her mate and like me had been out and about and like me, too cheap to take a cab and wanted to just grab the last bus. Had moved away like five years ago, had not been back…honestly…this city…

So we chatted the whole way back and were slightly confuzzled when the cops tried to get a drunk lady, who sadly looked homeless, on the bus, but the bus did not go where she lived so that was a no go. I wonder what happened to her and why on earth they would be putting her on the bus??

Walked home from the stop around a quarter after two in heels and finally got to bed around three. Reminded me of my nights out with Scottish mate. I miss them.

Career

Supervisor sent me some links for some jobs. Am a bit worried that I have not worked directly in the archives in awhile and this may have a negative impact when applying for jobs. Am also disappointed that jobs for the international organizations were in Washington and Brussels. Brussels anytime I have been to it has been an utterly dreary city. (I also tend to fly in and out of it when visiting my relatives in the Netherlands as it is closer to them then Amsterdam) Why could they not have been for the Hague or Geneva or even Vienna??!! Am going to apply, in terms of my career, would move me in the direction of where I want to go. But still really have no desire to live in Brussels. Yes, yes, I said this about Geneva and look at me now. Yes, I ate those words and they were delicious. But this is different! It is Brussels! No mountains to distract me or lakes to swim in when it gets hot and apparently a lot more rain…but yes, I would be very lucky if I got it. Plus a three year contract with the possibility of renewal for a longer period. Am surprised it is even that long, most now a days are a year to two, not three. Then again the thought of a contract binding me to one place for three years…perhaps if it were the right city I would not mind.

Anyways, all speculation, will probably not even get an interview, so the points I have made are moot.

Will try to make it to the gym tonight. Leaving work late, was trying to work on thesis…did not work out so much. Must sleep…

2009-06-01T17:42:00.001-05:00

Cat is promising to hold off her housewarming party till I arrive on the 26th. We shall make it a theme party. Suggestions so far have been:

Pirate (but I have been a pirate so many times I am so over pirateness)
School Uniforms (because according to Cat the boys would look cute)
Come as anything starting with the letter...(a Swedish mate of mine did this for a party theme, I think they picked the letter ‘P’ and allowed it to be in whatever language you spoke (English, Swedish, Dutch ect)

Any other theme ideas? For a housewarming/we have not seen each other in two freaking years and we have been friends since we were eight, party?

Looking at our friendship, it is rather amazing we have been friends so long and that at times, despite our vast fashion differences, are so much alike.

I texted her the other day and said we need a general theme for my trip to make the most out of the ten days.

Note to self, when wearing a necklace in the sun all day, even if it is not warm, you will still get a necklace shaped sunburn for all to see.

Had a lovely Saturday with Russian friend. (not actually Russian but lived in Russia and can speak it) Wandered around the park, then went for a late lunch at a vegan/organic place then wandered around looking for a new dress and buying some local wine.(I got strawberry, she got birth but I was very tempted to get the Saskatoon berry)

I want a new dress for the wedding and I think I know the style I want but alas, everytime I come close, it is either not in my size or the top is just not right. I also tried on some heels, that were about three inches, that would probably destroy my feet but on the other hand, considering I rarely go above a one and a half/two inch heel and I am only 5’2, they made my legs look awesome in a short skirt.

Old workmate keeps promising they will have a job for me. I really hope they do considering how busy I am, mid June to Mid July and need a job that will right off the bat be flexible with time off. It is funny, that last year there were so many internships and jobs open in my field and this year not so much. What a difference a year can make.

I think in addition to ultimate on Mondays I shall be playing informal football (that is soccer for you Americans) on Wednesdays. I would actually probably enjoy the soccer more as I have actually played it and there is no throwing/catching involved. Also, informal and not so competitive.

There is this one guy I keep seeing in an informal group setting, whom I want to get to know better. Okay, yes, the fact that he is a musician is probably driving this. But, a musician with floppy black hair? Yes. But, surprisingly, for all that he is a musician, and most I have met are these naturally outgoing people...him, not so much. Then again, that way I do not have to be reminded he does not have a British accent like so many of the floppy black haired creative men I enjoy...

Girlie night with hometown friend at her place. She had a bottle of red, cheese, almonds, her famous popcorn and grapes. Yum. Then we got into her watermelon vodka...

Went to a gathering that I helped organize, where I met some pretty cool people. While it started at six-thirty at the park, we were still chatting away at twelve-thirty at a random person’s house. Again, this is why I do enjoy this group. Meeting such diverse people, with all sorts of backgrounds, united by a love of travel. I shall have to describe them another day.

For the past couple of weeks I have been entirely unproductive, thus explaining a lack of posts. I kept writing posts occasionally and then I thought they were utter rubbish and were deleted. I have to learn to theme my posts instead of just ranting on about whatever comes into my head.

My sister’s uni grad is on Thursday, so I will not be getting anything done that day either. She sat through mine and so I shall sit through hers. Sadly, she has chosen Boston Pizza to go to dinner afterwards. Why can no one in this family, even try? Bah. Ah well, my brother and I shall have to make our own fun. If he has remembered to book the day off of work.

Speaking of my sister, I believe I mentioned she broke up with her boyfriend of almost five years about a month ago. (but they had separated for the month previous to get some breathing space) Since then she has been set up on several blind dates and managed to get a guy at the school where she was subbing to ask her out a couple of weeks ago. They have already seven on a handful of dates. They have even gone mini golfing.

How the hell does she do it? He fits within all of her defined perimeters for her next boyfriend too! He is a teacher, he is ambitious, has his own car and has his own flat and lives in the south end. He has no Dutch ethnicity and is not into hockey and she does not believe anyone in my family has any sort of connection to anyone in his family. He is also cute. In short, she has found the one she was looking for.

Within a month.

I am never quite sure to be envious of my sister and her goal orientatedness, or slightly afraid.

My mother says I should be more like her.

*Sigh*

Especially in how ‘proactive’ she is when looking for men.

*wha...*

But no sex.

*stabby stabby*

2009-05-13T12:00:00.002-05:00

Torchlight Procession and then Ferris Wheel Edinburgh Dec 08/Vineyards in Morges Jan 09/Docks in St.Andrews Dec 08/

2009-05-13T11:58:00.006-05:00

Four Pictures of St.Andrews Scotland and one picture of a fountain in Divonne-Dec 08/Jan09

2009-05-13T11:56:00.005-05:00

2009-05-13T11:51:00.001-05:00

“Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.”
Frank Sinatra

2009-05-13T11:37:00.001-05:00

A sigh.
A murmur.
The wiggle.
The awareness.
The arm around you, intimate, naked.
The one eye opening and then the other.
The turning over.
The smile.
The kiss.

How to Find Beauty in Life

2009-05-03T18:06:00.002-05:00

Instead of thinking all the time and getting lost in your own thoughts, slow down and just listen.

Have you ever noticed that when you judge other people, it immediately puts you in a negative mood?
Usually, the judgments we make are because other people aren’t conforming to our version of the way we would live. Everyone’s values are different, and that’s what makes life interesting. While there are some justifiable judgments you can make, they’re still, ultimately, not worth it.

Open Your Heart
Opening your heart is a matter of accepting yourself and life as it is
But it doesn’t make any sense to resist what is already a reality. Surrender to this moment

If you think you’re not a creative person, I’m here to respectably tell you - you’re wrong.
So the question is: What story will you create today?

Make your passion a priority.

From
http://thinksimplenow.com/calmness/how-to-find-beauty-in-life/

2009-05-03T17:12:00.000-05:00

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

-Trainspotting

Alright, minus the heroin part, I enjoy this quote.

I should be...

2009-05-01T23:26:00.002-05:00

...in a better mood.

I've booked my flight to Edmonton. My best/oldest friend is super happy about it and planning a party for me and maybe heading out to Calgary for a couple of days. She's even said she was going to be putting out old/opened alcohol on the balcony for the next couple of months for old times sake (click on Monday night drinking or London for those stories...) and ok'd going to two different archives. My B.C mate who I spent xmas with, went to Hungary with and crashed with in France is excited and plans on visiting if she is still in B.C when I head out there. I also got a deal on the flights. I have to wait till the end of June to go, for a full 12 days but she was super excited about it already. I plan on having a rought draft of the thesis done by then...so goal worthy...make my mini-vacation all the more worth it. Not that it isn't.

But I had a grrrr sort of day, bad haircut,(way too short, plus I had to wash my own hair and keep it wet because they had no running water plus just as I was about to pay their debit machine broke and I had to go searching for a bank near by) stupid forestry guy not a word yet despite activity on fb,(yes I finally just checked today and yes, what do I really expect anyways? he is a guy-but yes, I thought he was different then the rest-so says the refrain of how many women) staying at the house tonight (when all my Geneva mates are out and about and telling me about it and have I mentioned I miss Geneva and I like myself better there?)...that sort of thing.

It's not like there were not good parts.
I did get my wine fest tickets for next week. I met up with K for tea in the evening and had one of our girlie chats. I talked to Cat and got excited with her about my visit. I also talked to an old Geneva mate of mine so I can send him my CV and get a job with WHO and talked about him getting on tv because of what has been going on...and...really, why the hell do people say stuff like this?

"alfredo told me he had a crush on you, he'll be excited if you come back"
"you're a babe, i think most guys had a crush on a you"
"on behalf of men everywhere, let me tell you that you most of us think you're quite the catch"
"why are you single exactly?"

I don't know!!!!! People stop asking me this!!! I honestly do not know!

And why the hell do random guys keep telling me this sort of stuff looooong after? Entirely not that relevant now, in another country, another continent too. Also, not sure if I would date you anyways but hanging may be alright and yes apppreciate the compliments based solely on my looks. Also is there some sort of law if by when I am attracted to a guy, he will not be attracted to me but if I really do not care either way, they will be all over me. I mean, like the Geneva basketball team, I was all, whatever and when I left around four a.m from the random Brazilian club with its 'you have to know it exists and which door it is to knock to get in' and they were all asking my Irish mate for my number. Dude, no. Besides, I was exhausted by four a.m in helping irish mate to get with the right basketball player and not the wrong one unlike the last time, when I was not there. Do you realize how vigilant you have to be??!! And I was sober!! Despite us all drinking open cans of beer behind a moving swiss cop car and me on someones lap and someone in the trunk...

Sadly, I do miss those days.

Anyways the convo was all from one guy tonight. One. In a weird way I have become more confident in my body and my looks then lets say I was at, at 22, but worse at the same time. More self concious, more obsessed with the gym, more critical. The older I get the more compliments I receive...? Why does this not equate into a relationship...?

Last night my mother was very randomly saying, "You are the prettiest one in the entire family. Even the twins (my cousins) are not as good looking as you." (and she was more or less saying I am better looking then her at her age and my sister right now-very weird)

Of course being my mother she had to add...

"If only you tried more to look pretty"

Which was basically saying I am not that pretty because I "don't try" ie highlighting my hair, wearing different clothes, putting on more mascara...the list goes on.

I am rambling now. Shower, buffy, bed. Up early to go to the gym. If there was a point other then to ramble, it has been forgotten.

I wonder....

2009-04-29T12:50:00.002-05:00

when I am going to exactly figure out who I am anyways.

Here is myspace page for a pretty cool chick with some good electro.

http://www.myspace.com/andreafaithful

Also in light of what I was emoing about the other day-here is a pretty good article.

http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2009/04/28/sacred-or-survival-dance-risk-taking-in-travel/

Couple Quotes

"Taking “significant risks” is often involved in traveling. In order to really see the ins and outs of a country you haven’t been to before, to really gain knowledge and understanding of the culture you are spending a relatively short amount of time in, it takes putting ourselves on the line in a way we rarely do at home."

"And yet the decisions we make while traveling actually affect our decisions once we return home. "

2009-04-28T16:12:00.003-05:00

So I kind of want to move to Paris and work for the UNESCO archives. I think that would be cool minus the whole French/living in Paris part. No, I have no huge desire to live in Paris. For some reason I had it in my head the HQ was in Vienna a city I have heard rave reviews about.

Still want to live in Amsterdam at some point

http://www.unesco.org/archives/sio/Eng/listorg_full.php

http://www.myilibrary.com.proxy2.lib.umanitoba.ca/browse/open.asp?ID=35437

Standstill

2009-04-28T14:44:00.004-05:00

I continue to feel as if my life is at a standstill. The calm before the storm? The calm after the storm? Or the uniformity, the sameness, the dullness, the repetiveness, the tediousness of life? (yes I used an online theasaurus) I am not sure anymore. Starting to flag at the thesis research again. Not good.

I thought last year was bad, this year turning 26 is even worse. I am almost on the far side of my twenties now...I am almost thirty! And what have I accomplished??!! Nothing! I look around me and see all these creative people and travel writers accomplishing, being, seeing, following their passion....and what the hell am I doing? Why do I always play it safe? Why can I never just break free? Take a real chance? Be inspired, be inspiration, be passion. Also, travel more to then just Europe.

I was at a local pub on Sunday for a friend's farewell and to listen to the houseband. We were informed while waiting for them to come on that the lead singer had just up and left a few days earlier to follow a woman to Montreal. The girl next to me said she wished she had that sort of passion and courage to just up and leave everything, your entire life, at the spur of the moment to follow someone half-way across the country. My reply was I wished I could inspire that sort of passion (non-stalker though) in someone else. But I get her reply, it would have taken a lot courage, a lot of again, passion and risk-taking. Because yes it could not work out and you just left your whole life, devestating, but I suppose it makes it that much better if it did work out.

I probably will never know if it did or not and then endings or beginnings are to be left up to my imagination.

Again, I have got to do more, to be more, to see more and not be so safe.

So why am I complaining and not doing anything about it yet again?

All this analysing I am doing on my subject for my thesis has in fact produced even more analysis of my own life. Not good. Damn arts degree.

I have to say one positive outcome of it all was realizing certain events in my early twenties, like breaking up with someone after almost two years, (my only steady relationship in my twenties) was in the end, not good event per se but the event allowed for other oppertunities that I might have passed up on, had I been in a relationship. Like the idea to do a whv popped up only after we had broken up. Before that even a weeks vacation was a long time to be apart.

A girl I met at a party once told me she had always wanted to live overseas or live abroad but that she had always had a steady boyfriend, so it never happened. My own sister passed up an oppertunity to go to Thailand for around five months with school because her boyfriend of then almost four years was threatening to break up with her if she went for that long. (ironically they just broke up because he was not willing to move on with the relationship after near five years of dating) My friends sister was supposed to spend a semester in Australia, but had applied and been accepted before she had met her boyfriend. Once she met him, she was seriously considering not going but her parents and my friend convinced her to go. Once she got there, she lasted less then a week before she decided to come home. She claimed the programme was nothing like she had expected and would have been a waste of a semester but even my friend doubts this, considering the little time she spent there was spent on the phone with her boyfriend and complaining about the bugs and spiders. (okay so I get the millions of spiders part)

I do complain about being single sometimes (okay certain friends might argue with the sometimes part...) but when even your own mother is commenting about you being single after years freaking out on you about relationships. (I was an unexpected surprise...worked out in the end but leftover issues...)Also when she is telling me, I should not move to that part of the city because I certainly would not meet anyone successful there. (dear lord) I realize it is part of being back here and again with the couples and marrieds that is my home town.(and living with my parents) I have resigned myself to stay till I finish my thesis but not limit myself either way and so I just have to accept it and enjoy my old friends while I am here.

Coming back to the main point of the last couple paragraphs. I do not regret it, if it means I would not have done all I have done in my life. Of course it would be awesome (yes I still use awesome) to meet someone who loves to travel as much as I do or has a carear like mine that could mean traveling and living overseas but I am perfectly able to pack up and go on my own. Whether to further my own fledgling carear or just because. By traveling and living overseas I gained that love of independance. (of course moving back with my parents yet again sort of negates it a bit) So I cannot regret those events if it meant I would have never lived overseas, traveled and met the interesting people I have and had the experiences I did.

So I have written down goals but which of those goals get me out of this rut and not feeling like this? I think that is something I have got to think about but not dwell on.

Right now, well I have a thesis proposal due at the end of the week that has been glaring at me this afternoon as I wrote this. So I had best go make it up.

2009-04-27T15:10:00.001-05:00

http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/

They are all sorts of awesome

2009-04-27T15:03:00.004-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHBuQvUCLYs

I am analyzing my own blog

2009-04-20T12:47:00.004-05:00

That is how deep I am into my thesis. Why do I write and why if I never actually give people the url or actively seek out people to connect with online do I continue to write here? If it was just really for myself, would I not just continue to write in paper journals like I had done on and off since I was eight or nine? What are my motivations? If I am not even sure of my own, how on earth can I figure out someone else's, especcially since she is dead and both of her brothers are too?

Oh dear.

Anyways, Summer is almost upon us and I decided in an effort to remain positive, I shall set some short term goals. As in goals I intend to accomplish within the next six months to a year. (many goals are currently summer related...)

-Thesis defense by December
-Buy a bike.
-Get a part time job.
-Loose ten pounds by the wedding in June and before I go visit Cat.
-Gym 4-5 times a week for the month of May.
-One I buy said bike, bike to and from the uni.
-Buy an ipod nano.
-Start running with sister dear in the mornings.
-Help get the cs group for winnipeg really up and running.
-Go to more live shows.
-Folk Fest!!
-Wine Fest!!!
-A rough draft of my thesis before I leave for Edmonton.
-Book flight to Edmonton.
-Get out to the beach.
-Go camping.
-Jazz fest.
-Go to Ultimate games. (even though still annoyed with B...)
-See if anyone wants to play football in the park on a Sunday afternoon or weekday evening.
-Go to Saskatoon to visit cousin.
-Get sister dear out and about more often. (break up...)
-Eat Healthier!!!!!
-Get to know cs people more.
-Do at least eight hours of school a day on top of job searching/archiving.
-Stop buying tea everyday.
-Go to 1-2 folklarama shows.
-Check out fringe shows.
-Get a laptop.
-Buy some summer cloathes-including a short flowy knee length black flirty skirt.
-Start writing thesis by mid-May-have almost all research done by then.
-Buy an awesome/hot/classy/perfect dress for the wedding.
-Keep in contact with my various mates around the world.
-Revise CV and send it to certain key people who could possibly send it on to the right people.

I have also decided to create a long term life goal list. I have six to start with but the aim is to get to 100. A nice round number. I shall not allow my life to stagnate and become...anyways

Long Term Goals

1. Go to Ireland.
2. Learn French.
3. Live in Amsterdam.
4. Party in Amsterdam during the Queen's Birthday.
5. Get down to 110 pounds in a healthy way.
6. Be published in a recognized newspaper.
7. Finish my masters.

Alright that was seven not six but I just added in the Queen's Bday. I am not bitter all or anything that certain mates will be there and its not even their people...

I have a paper copy so I reckon I will be adding as I go.

In other news I survived elvis themed dinner theatre for my great grandmother's 89th. There was much wine involved. Luckily grandpa picked up the tab. On the other hand if I had known he was going to, I would have ordered the damn bottle. They tried to get us up onto the stage. The Hutterites had front row seats. The siblings and I were probably the only people that had not heard Elvis when he was still alive...

M and I went out on Thursday after a day of archiving, and she ate dinner and had one glass of wine and she was tipsy. I did not eat, had one glass and did not feel a freaking thing. Stupid being able to handle my alcohol. Weirdly enough it did help me focus on my studying. Sorta like my glow in the dark vodka tonic during glow bowling helped me actually knock some pins down.

Okay, late start to the day today. Not so good. Goals for this week?

1.Hit up the archives Tues-Friday.
2.Hang out with K.
3.Finish off reading Maps of Difference.
4.Email former bosses to ask to be a ref.
5.Revise CV.
6.Finish revisions on thesis proposal.
7.Something about taxes...

I like lists.

Up Down and All Around

2009-04-16T13:12:00.002-05:00

I was thinking what is with me and my mood this past week. I've been having more highs and lows then a rollor coaster. (zing) Then I got my usual horrible cramps last night and was like, oh dammit.

It is amazing how postive I was on the whole foresty guy thing on Sunday. I think it was the whole, 'sex/cuddling' post high thing. (Incidentally I had to explain to a friend of mine why I nickname every guy I have been with when I just called him forestry guy...) Looking at the previous post, I may just go to my former stance. I am simply going to ween myself away from this whole damn situation. I am just over the whole kinda but not in a relationship thing. Or maybe I am right now. We do appear to have lots in common I admit. A summer 'romance' would be nice if I were to stay here but if I think about it too much it will drive me insane. He has to make the next move and where he wants to go from there. I am not going to do it. I do not want to be that girl. I suppose, like with stupid english boy, I almost could not care which way it goes at this point (or why I actually care about it in the first place) but its the uncertainity right now that just annoys me.

I have a final tomorrow that I simply cannot concentrate on, which sucks. Because I have done no studying and I have to get at least a freaking B. *sigh* But it should be my final final! Hurrah!!! I just forgot how to study in the last three years....four years? When the hell was my last test anyways?

Coffee was nice on Tuesday with my mate. She is still ill...but doing better. We hope to hang out a wee bit more now. She is also working at Starbucks and will apparently make me yummy drinks.

Last night was much fun with the cs group. As always cs meetings bring together alot of good and diverse people, with all sorts of traveling tales and experiences. We went bowling, then to a pub and then to another pub. Two a.m on a Wensday night, not bad. Met some really interesting people.

One girl works for the radio and does freelance and insists that my thesis (parts of it) might be a great feature in one of the newspapers or even a series. Which would be awesome. In all truth there are a couple of articles I have been debating about spending the time and writing, relating somewhat to my thesis work...I am not the greatest writer but I know with careful editing...anyways, she gave me alot to think about. I do have a summer ahead of me.

Also, folk fest coming up. Would have loved to have gone but booo J&C getting married and the band will not be in town. But the couple who gave me a ride invited me out with them and said they could potentially get me on with a great crew to volunteer with the whole four days, which would mean the whole weekend would be free...and only about four hours of actual volunteering during the fest, the rest would be before and after...they have a really great lineup this year...

Wine fest is also coming up in May. Would love to go. Would be good to go with Forestry guy who does appreciate wine as much as I do, but again, not going to ask...although K says I should hint but be subtle. I am no good at these games. Anyways, going with or without. Perhaps B wants to come, well he will, but considering he is still jobless and refuses to get one outside of his field, he is sort of broke but somehow has a new car. Annnnways....

Looking at flights to see Cat still. Trying to make it so it includes two weekends. If she cannot take that much time off work I can always borrow her laptop (if she has one by then) and get some thesis work while I am on 'vacation.' Of course if I do go when I was planning on going, I may just be getting back then going straight off to folk fest, which would be fun...

Either way, I reckon we shall be having a lot of fun drinking/dancing/boy times. From dawn till...dawn...Just remembering our Monday night drinking nights, always brings a smile to my face.

"Who winning?!"
"We're all winning!"

"Toooowwwwer"

"ROLLOR RINK!!!"

Again, I love having a friend with that much shared history. We have certainly had our rough times but I reckon that is a true relationship, never all smooth sailing but the point is, you work through it and grow up a bit more.

So mid June (wedding...which I still have to say I am coming to) to mid July is looking fairly busy, which would be nice but it is looking more and more like I shall not be out of here by then, which is bugging me a bit...but we shall see, we shall see. I will not discount it either way.

I also have to fit my cousin somewhere in there. Was leaning towards May but perhaps August? Wine Fest and a Moses Mayes concert I kind of want to go to. One of the cs'ers is a member. Hmmm perhaps May long...

And of course all my plans could fall apart. They often do. Or very randomly last minute happen, as they often do too.

Alright, tired, crappy mood but better then yesterday afternoon, crampy,(have I mentioned despite the worry how nice those months minus that time of the month were...how awesome they were?? but no, bad, I know) okay very tired...I really need something stronger then tea.

Randomly, hot irish guy talked to me yesterday over fb. Very weird, had not talked to him in months. I sorta stopped after awhile and then I was here and the schedules were way different. Him iniating the conversation did not quite give me the same thrill it used to, still stayed on to talk to him but still not quite the same...what was nice and I noticed this after talking with forestry guy, is he was always asking questions about me. I could barely get in a question about how he was doing and how his own life was going. I felt he was generally interested in me. Okay, so it was a bit of a catch up, we have not talked in awhile but still, honestly wanted to know about me, my plans for the future, my thesis topic, (okay everybody wants to know that and is generally pretty interested in what I am doing) even interested that I had a sister and not just a brother, which was sort of random. Okay the fact that I wrote a paragraph about a random chat shows that I am 'not over him' but really, he is a good memory and while I would never say no to not ever seeing him again and certainly if I ever make it out to Ireland I would love to head up to see him, but its not that same intensity, as lets say last July. Oh the thrill when he asked me for my swiss mobile number...then texted me a couple days later...I miss that feeling...everyone has that sort of guy/girl they will always think fondly of, with a secret little smile, have fantasies about but quite logically realize it was never to be.

Now I really really really must be off to study. If I can get in about five or six hours of serious studying today and another couple tomorrow morning, I think *crosses fingers* I should be okay.

Wish me luck.

Sunday Post

2009-04-12T21:09:00.002-05:00

It's Sunday.
Two fb messages from some of my favourite people. Irish friend and third cousin, one saying how much she missed me and trying to arrange a chat and the other alerting me to a sale so I can come visit her already. It really put a smile on my face. I still want to have a proper catch up with scottish mate too and still have to book my flight to visit cat...why the hell do all the people I want to see/hang out with/chat with, live so very far away??!!

Long weekend is over. Did not do much. Hit up a 'couger' bar on Thursday with a couple old workmates. Seven to two a.m. Not bad at all. But really, to survive a place like that, I needed to be waaaaay drunker. Being hit on my men older then my father is kind of creepy. There was a real mix of people, old and young but not really my type of place. Last time I was there, Scottish friend was still in here...we ended up meeting some guys in the queue around eleven-thirty after drinking elsewhere since seven and they bought us shots and it gets really blurry after that and I ended up with the former male model from Milan who was now a air traffic controller's, phone number in my mobile. Made Scottish mate phone and thus began some interesting encounters...ah those were the days. I miss her.

Good fun dancing and was glad to catch up with my workmate. She has been under a lot of stress too. She needed a good girls night out. Plus we are both single and we can bitch together!

Friday, woke up stupidly early, walked the dog in the park, got some schoolwork done and headed off to the grandparents for dinner till late. Nice catching up with all my relatives. Also the food was awesome and I always love my grandma's homemade wine. I enjoy my grandparents, and most of my aunt and uncles and cousins...most.

Saturday, libraried it up all day, was in a horrible mood because of something someone had said...been grumpy the last two weeks...I want to be cool, happy, fun, popular raspberry swyrl again...oh Geneva...oh London....

Very randomly met up with forestry guy for drinks...two bottles of red later (we each picked a bottle and both were rather yummy. My choice had a sort of fruity aftertaste and his was sort of 'velvety') and two aperitifs...we sat on a couch next to the fire place...we were going to go to another bar/restaurant but ended back up at his place...it was...well, not the best but not the worst either. It was nice to fall asleep in someones arms again and wake up to them. I always miss that sort of intimacy. When you are just scratching an itch,(which is good fun) you often do not get that sort of intimacy. I think I could get used to it. But I do not think we are going for a relationship or anything. Not sure I want to do the pseudo relationship again though. The kind I had with stupid english boy. Also not sure if I am ready for committment. We both have a vauge plan for a thesis defense date in December and both do not plan on staying here for long. He is also rather busy with his own life...and my life has been, well boring. So we will see. I am not even sure if I even want more to begin with, or I just like the idea of being in a relationship again...it was lovely to just lay in his arms all morning...okay while listening to the cbc. He has some odd quirks but I reckon I do too.

I suppose like with most things in my life right now, I will just play it by ear. I remain single and fancy free...

We had a lovely breakfast then I headed back to the burbs, where both my brother and I got lectured by my parents for staying out all night. The thing is, even if I had phoned its not like I would have told them the truth. I think my mother likes to think I am still a virgin. I have no idea how they would react if I told them the truth. I am freaking twenty-five but my nineteen year old brother and I were still getting lectured together. *sigh* The majority of my relationships have been elsewhere and the ones here, well I tended to have mates who lived in the area and I would say I was just crashing with them. I hate lying but like I said, I am not going to tell my parents that I had sex last night. My brother lies all the time about that, but I am not a nineteen year old boy. I am a twenty-five year old experienced woman and I really do not think my parents need to know this sort of thing. I am apparently not even allowed to leave without telling 'who I am going to be with'

Alright, this is turning into a rant...

Yes, yes. I really do need to move out.

Again.

*sigh*

But I did have a lovely time.

Rest of day, I cleaned, helped my mother with Easter dinner and had the other set of grandparents over for dinner.

It was a nice weekend but really, this is why I have not been posting much lately...life is just stagnating right now. I feel like this thesis is holding me back from taking advantage of life. It seems so silly that I need it to do a job, where I will probably have onsight training.

This would be turning into another rant.

Of course I am at the point where I can randomly relate everything to my thesis topic and the woman I will now be using as a focus, as opposed to a case study. I am bound to drive everyone around me,nuts soon.

on hitting up the archives earlier and staying right to the end all week. I need to finish up her travel books already. Tuesday meeting up with a mate who has been ill for awhile and I have not seen her in ages. So glad to be seeing her and hopefully start seeing her more often again. Wens is the CS meeting at the bowling alley of all places, Thursday I plan on studying for my final final on Friday. Friday is also great grandmother's 89th, where we will be doing dinner and the theatre and Saturday is a mates birthday.

I reckon I am still sort of cranky about life the universe and everything right now but last night's and this morning's *ahem* sessions, helped work out some of that frustration.

I love it when life is random.

March Maddness

2009-04-02T18:33:00.003-05:00

Not so much.
Unproductive in March in general.

Helped out with a historical conference which was fun. Did not attend a lot of sessions but got free alcohol.
Partied with some Marxist grad students from York who were hilarious when drunk.
Became a comrad in arms.
Prof also had a houseparty for us. Archnemesis prof from third year showed up. My friend and I, as innocent third year honours students, forced to take a forth year/masters course had no idea what we were in for and almost had a meltdown in his class.
Never again.
He brought a nice bottle of wine. Helped with the whole forever traumatized part.

Just finished dog/cat/hamster sitting for my aunt and family for two weeks. Liked having the place to myself. Did not like being so far in the burbs and so far away from everything. I thought my area was bad.
Also, cats are needier then dogs. I am really not a cat person.
Had a nice lunch with my grandmother. She made two kinds of homemade soups...yum!

Dodgeball has ended. We had one win, one tie, lots of losses. We have realized in order to do better, we will have to start cheating like almost every other team does. Yes, people care enough about dodgeball to"
a)Cheat
b)Deny they are cheating when called on it
c)Come close to blows over a supposed bad throw
d)Have matching shirts with their team name on it
e)Have their own dodgeballs
f)Throw a ball hard-like a baseball-Ensuring lots of pointless pain on the other side
g)Care that the other team is cheating

Mr.Rightnow (masters student in a field of science) from the team has not really materialized. I thought he could have been someone...but honestly, I am done with chasing a guy. Never works out, so I am not even going to bother. I was not that in to im to begin with. He can message me if he wants to...
We do have lovely chats. Sushi last week was nice. Ended up getting a tour of his lab afterwards, bit tipsy, and he did not even make a move.

What kind of guy does not make a move on a tipsy girl, in a deserted lab at like eleven/twelve a night??! Really now.

He is a bit...hmmm. His roomate, an eastern european, was once having sex hard enough to shake the wall. For days afterwards he was checking for earthquake activity, even at the University. Took him mentioning it to his roomate like a week or two later for her to spell it out...
He might be too nice anyways. If that makes any sense. I have a bad track record with too nice guys...

Three hour meeting with my prof on Monday. Gahhh, brain was spinning by the end of it. End result, completely redoing my bloody thesis proposal. It makes sense...but it means I have to go back to the same documents and ask different questions of them. It is more or less what I was planning on doing but combining chapter one and two and making chapter four, chapter three and making my case study, the focus of the thesis instead of just, my case study that loosely tied in all the chapters.

Talked to one of the other students from my class about his work on his proposal and we are more or less on the same page, even though he has been working longer on it. In general, we love the programme. What we had issues with, was the lack of more practical training and now this thesis. One of the main problems is, our supervisor is supervising seventeen students and about to add on another five students from this years class. He is so busy with teaching, writing papers and other activities that it is really hard to meet with him and get material back from him. We love him to death, but we are just frustrated right now. We are at the point where we just want to get it done. Meanwhile, my fellow student, is having enough problems just getting his thesis proposal formally approved. Like, it has to get sent to three professors, who critique it, then he makes changes to it and then he sends it somewhere else to get formally formally approved...and this is just the thesis proposal! Not even the defense of it the bloody thing! We are not history grad students!!!!!

And what am I doing?? No really, what am I doing?

I have some sort of vauge deadlines and important dates.
In a couple of weeks is Great Grandmother's 89th bday.(who also has facebook...)
May is re-asses where I am at in my life.
It is also grandmothers 65th bday.
C & J's wedding at the end of June, which I just got my formal invite to.
Plan on loosing ten pounds by then. (whole gym thing was not good when living in middle of no-where)
Around July long, visit Cat and check out her new condo and really, my plan is week long party. Forget it all and just...dance!

These are things I want to be here just long enough to do.

After that...well, I have started revising my CV. Would be nice to have a job by then, full time one, possibly overseas. I am not playing ultimate in the summer, not even once a week, let alone two or three. But like I said, May is figure out life, the universe and everything.

Alright, back to thesis proposal.

Read This

2009-03-28T19:59:00.002-05:00

http://jezebel.com/5188413/are-you-an-un+dater

This article explains so much of my late teens/early twenties and even today!! Read the comments and talk about un-relationships. That was so me and stupid english boy. Un-dates and un-relationships...I love the internet at times like these.

2009-03-02T21:30:00.001-06:00

http://www.un.org/MoreInfo/guide.htm
http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/UNHCR/235b24562efc713e7cce4ee3006f0b9f.htm
http://www.wilsoncenter.org/index.cfm?topic_id=1409&fuseaction=topics.item&news_id=104527

2009-02-28T02:12:00.002-06:00

A bottle of a Chilean Merlot...a good long chat with your oldest friend in the world who knows you inside and out...after an afternoon of chatting with a guy who could be more but maybe not but at least is a fellow masters student and likes wine, enough to have several glasses throughout the afternoon...

Well all in all, not bad for a Friday. I am content.

I Am Old

2009-02-19T20:08:00.000-06:00

Last night sister dear picked me up from the gym after she had met up with an old friend. I am not sure about the details about why they had not spoke in years…but it was nice to catch up, to the point where she was selling my sister social tickets. (Yes, it is that time of the year. Socials galore. I have one next week.) Anyways, the couple that is getting married? Well I went to junior high/high school with the guy who is getting married (the older brother) and the chick was in grade ten when we were in grade twelve and they started dating then…and now they are getting married.

When expressing my bit of ‘wtf’ my sister looked at me strangely.

“Well raspberry swirl, he is twenty-five and he has been teaching for several years now and they have been dating since high school. They are both financial stable, with steady jobs, cars, both have moved out from their parents place…why would they not get married? Twenty-five is in fact an ideal age to get married.”

“But, but,” I said desperately, “…they are so young!”

“No they are not, right now is the perfect age to get married, a couple years without kids to get even more financially stable, maybe take a couple of really nice vacations, buy a nice house and then they can have kids and not worry about fertility problems like you would in your thirties…”

“But, but…I am living at home with the parents, no job, no car, still in school,(it is at least my second degree!) no fiancée, let alone boyfriend or even a long term relationship recently…and dear lord, I want to go crawl under a rock. Look around me, everybody is getting married, all my friends here are in long term/getting married/married relationships, buying houses and cars and…”

“Do you want to get married?”

“Well no…but that is besides the point! I am an outcast. I am becoming the old crazy cat lady before my very eyes. I shall become the aunt to yours and brother dear’s children, that is old and bitter…and do you know brother dear is already dating after swearing off long term relationships?! It’s enough I have to hear about it, every time he gets laid, which is more often then me since returning to this bloody city and now he probably has another girlfriend! I am doomed!”

“uhhhh”

“I mean you are going to be married by my age! I know you are! You have been dating him since the end of high school and have him so whipped it is not even funny. Now all you have to get him to propose after you graduate this year from uni. He has a stable job! He is an accountant!! You are a teacher! You have a car! He has a car! You two look at showhomes for fun on the weekend! You shall be fruitful and multiply and have the perfect amount of children and and and…”

“But I have been telling since we were teenagers I would marry before you and have kids before you. It was kinda obvious even then. I have a plan..and you…”

“A plan? Well I kind of have a hankering to live in Amsterdam or Vienna or back to Geneva right now…if I ever finish this second bloody degree. Stupid thesis. Might just get some stuff done here then move on. Wouldn’t mind working for any international organization again, actually learn French, visit our cousins in Amsterdam whom I met last time I was in the Netherlands, which reminds me I want to see more of the Netherlands and finally get to freaking Ireland, so tempted to do a work holiday visa there and maybe eventually get down to South America…”

“Yah, those plans are not very conductive to relationships in a city like this. Also you keep leaving. Notice the fact that none of those plans have anything to do with being here? Remember when you spent a year and a half in the U.K? Or when a three month internship in Geneva turned into nine months because you wanted to stay and managed to find a job? Remember that? That is not what most people do or have done, especially here.”

“But it really was not that long! Or it certainly did not seem long! The time just flew by! I miss it!”

“It was still time away, when you could have been getting all that stuff, like a long term relationship or a car or applied for your masters right after your undergrad and be finished now and moved out or even gotten some sort of steady job after your first degree.”

“But I have lived in the burbs my whole life! I even went to the Uni that was a five minute car ride from where I lived! The London thing was sort of my uni experience, minus the uni part!”

“Yes, but most of your friends have done what I did. Did you not say that the guy who is getting married in the summer (who’s social you are going to) is twenty-seven, (possibly twenty-eight) still living at home but doing a second degree in engineering?”

“Yes but his fiancée is younger then me…younger!!! With a job and a car and did the whole live on campus thing. Okay her parents paid for everything and bought her car for her, our parents could not have afforded to do that-so yes instead of going into massive debt, I lived at home and was lucky and am still lucky to have that option but…what was I saying?”

“Is this like the longest red light ever?”

“Uh no, that is not…oh, okay. Stop ranting? The thing is, I am going through I mid twenty life crisis right now. I am turning twenty-six this year! Twenty-six! That sounds like a grown up age and I really do not feel like a grown up. I am worried. Also, I am getting old. That is depressing. Do you know that…”

“Thank god, we are home. Out you go.”
“Wha-but but, we were bonding! We were talking about life!”

“No. You were ranting. I sure hope I am not like you at your age.”

“Thanks for that sister dear. Thanks.”

*****

My father said before I left for uni today that I would make an excellent wife. This was due to factors like I am the only one walking the dog, cleaning up the kitchen before I leave for Uni (and getting my brother to do his part) doing the chores and keeping my room ‘fairly tidy.’ While I am sure my dad meant this as a compliment, he did say afterwards that I had ‘matured’ since I had been away, I rather felt I would much rather not be a good wife and be better at something else. Should I revert to my old ways? It certainly works for my brother. My mom still makes him lunch for school at the grand age of nineteen and if she does not have time for it, leaves a note for my sister or me to do it.

And just randomly, do you know there was a masturbation trend in Canadian literature? I did not. Is there still a trend? Read about the first book in the list.

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/books/northerntouch.html

**
Random links. Gym time. Will be productive tomorrow. I promise.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/18/dining/18mini.html?em

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/18/dining/182mrex.html?ref=dining

http://www.sequentialtart.com/article.php?id=1236

2009-02-19T15:04:00.000-06:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/24/magazine/24princess.t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

Winter Blahs

2009-02-18T20:33:00.001-06:00

Cannot access the internet, due to network problems. Cannot buy tea and snack due to the café closing early. These are probably good things but the stupid network problems is affecting my password and I cannot access any online journals. Booooo

Weirdly enough just saw someone I knew that went to my highschool and whom I had a crush on, back in the day. I think he was on some sort of swimteam. What’s he doing back here so late in life and why he is hanging out at the library…hmmmm

Dammit. I want access!

Also need motivation. And a job. It is not that I do not have money saved, it is just rather it stay saved.

Alright long weekend. Nothing to write home about, but such is life for me in this city. Friday went to hometown friend’s place, had a half bottle of red wine, watched ‘Stranger then Fiction’ (where I thought, wow, Will Farell can be a good actor) and some girlie talk and muffins with chocolate and chili. Saturday gym and library. Then met up with M, whom I have not seen since way before I left. It was an alright way to spend Valentine’s Day. Getting drunk with an old mate, catching up and having a pretty nice time doing a mini pub crawl. Sunday, lazy, read a book, took the dog to the park, then dodgeball, tied the game, went out for drinks afterwards. Talked with some teammates, some of whom are into wine and we had a couple discussions about that. One was kinda a cutie. He has actually visited the archives at my uni. Still had to explain that archivists are not librarians.

Can I just write up some sort of sheet and hand it out to everyone I meet when they invariably ask me what do I do/study. It would just save me from about ten billion lectures a bloody month.

Monday, did chores and texted an old mate from junior high. We are supposed to get together some time this week or this weekend. Then Starbucks for the evening, where I attempted to do some research and read more about wine. Tuesday, attempted to go to the festival but no one realized the park would be closed, ended up having dinner, but I had already eaten so had drinks instead. Then went to check out supernerd’s new house. It is very nerdy. Like there was a room for Star War’s lego and pirate ships and action figures for some sort of game he tried to explain over facebook one time, but I was sorta tipsy at the time and still have no idea what the hell he is talking about. Anyways, after the shock of the nerd room, we opened a bottle of wine. I needed it.

Bah! It bored me to even write this!!! But I thought I should have some sort of update…right?? It is the winter…I am trying to save money. I do not have a job…I should just be concentrating on getting my thesis over and done with to be free of it (even though M told me my supervisor has eighteen freaking students he is supervising!!)

I did have an entire rant about ‘that time of the month’ and how much it sucks, and despite the fact I was like wtf when I did not get it for several months, the bliss in not having it and not worrying about planning things around it (it is heavy, it lasts seven to eight days and I feel like crap-so yes I have to freaking plan around it) or buying tons of sanitary products…but it was also written on the first day, with the traditional cramps and I decided to not post it, although it has been saved. (it was nice of the doctor to confirm my theory on why it got messed up and that there is nothing wrong with me) But really, bliss without it.

Also, that is not that much more interesting.

Being threatened to be thrown out of the house over a messy room? Yah…no, that is just pathetic. Dear lord. I am a messy person. I think by the grand age of twenty-five I am not getting out of this ‘phase.’ I keep the rest of the house clean of my stuff and help out with chores, let me room be my messy space/happy space!!

Ummm………yah…

I need a hobby?

Re-read an entry waaaaay back in July about basically one of the best days ever. It forced me to smile a bit and I soaked up a bit of those leftover happy vibes…

Right then.
Gym time.
Been procrastinating due to walking across cold dark campus…

2009-02-08T02:11:00.001-06:00

http://www.prevention.com/cda/article/cheap-and-healthy-eats/a7d816b3689dc110VgnVCM20000012281eac____/weight.loss/diets/biggest.loser/biggest.loser.diet/0/3

Semi-Productive

2009-02-06T21:14:00.002-06:00

I found out that my money had been tranferred back to my Swiss account and using my limited French and their limited English were able to add in some more info to hopefully by next week have my chf transferred to my Canadian account.

Made an eye appointment. I have not had my eyes checked in years.

Phoned to get my provincial health card replaced. For some reason the people that booked my eye appointment requested that I bring it.

Went to the library. The library I am kinda impressed with. There are several books that I debated about getting and did not, that the library apparently has. Go library.

Went to Shoppers and bought some practical items and then a couple not so practical items.

School, where I valiently tried to concentrate on school. Not so much. Did see advisor (whom I avoided) and realized I had better stop procrastinating already and email him and see him next week.

Went to gym where I was on the bike for an hour, the eliptical for twenty minutes, then a couple laps around the gym and then some stretching. I really want to work on my abs, so need some good exercises to do so. Hoping the personal trainer next week can help with this. Really, really want to loose those seven pounds. But I know I have really got to cut back on what I eat if I want to get down to 120. 115 would be my ideal...

Last night I was out with someone I have referred to as hometown friend in the past. The one who had to stay with me for like a month because she was homeless...
Anyways, it was pretty nice. We hit up this wine bar that Scottish friend and I used to hit up every Thursday for ladies night. (4.50 martinis/house wine) Sadly it was kinda annoying, the vibe had already been kinda changing towards the end, before Scottish friend had left and now it totally had. Which sucks, because I like the decor, the drinks, the food but it just tries too hard to be trendy and turns up the music so you can barely talk...boooooo

Scottish friend had phoned the previous night and we talked for like an hour but my brother went to bed, or else we would have talked more. I think we are back to our weekly chats, which I really missed. Between both of our hectic schedules and unreliable phone connections, we had not had a proper chat since...thanksgiving. (where we chatted via googlechat while I made my grandma's famous pasta salad for the Canadian thanksgiving hometown friend and I put on) It's just nice you can chat with someone like that.

I was thinking about this the other day and realized that in terms of people I can just let loose with and will let loose with me, her and cat are the only two people that I can really do that with. Let loose, be crazy, do crazy things, have zany times, not see each other for ages but still have that connection and be able to just chat...

I mean, I had Canadian friend that was awesome to go traveling with and irish friend who was awesome to just hang with and have a nice bottle of wine...I suppose that is what is great about having a variety of friends...okay now I am just missing everybody and everybody is not here!!!!! They are everywhere but here...bah!!!

But back to last night before I feel anymore grrrrr...afterwards headed to the only ozzie place in the city. Quieter but still a good crowd. The only issue I had was that she was being a bit of a mother hen and honestly, I get enough of that from my mother. I want her as a friend and love her as a friend...but that sounds kinda bitchy...I dont know...hmmmmm

I have got to change my fb network from Switzerland to my old one...but I really do not want to...it is sad.

Okay I think I have bored myself to sleep.

Kelly Armstrong Book Signing

2009-02-04T17:08:00.002-06:00

Last week after class I went to a book signing for Kelly Armstrong. I was late due to class but I managed to catch the last half hour of her talk and get a couple books signed and score some bookmarks. I did not buy her Men of the Underworld book, the one she was promoting because I had just bought her latest in the Women of the Underworld series in hardcover. Considering I do not have steady work right now, buying that many hardcovers is not exactly smart.

Annnnyways, it was a really good talk and I quite enjoyed it. Plus I got to ask a question I have been wondering for awhile. Namely, "why did you set the series in the States as opposed to Canada, considering you are Canadian." I suppose I wanted to know if she did that because she was trying to appeal to the mass audience that is the States and heaven forbid they should have to read a book not within the States.

Apparently not. She told me that she wanted to have it set in a population that was large enough where you could have some werewolves living, and occasional killings going on and nobody would notice. Much easier in a larger population. (and more murdering going on then Canada?) She said her publisher never told her to get rid of her Canadian references. (and yes, Elena is from Toronto-there is a short story she posted of Elena's time in Toronto when she met Clay at U of T) Of course then I had to ask if she was going to get out of Ontario considering the main character of her other series also lives in Ontario. Yes, I am a westerner and yes, I was raised to be bitter about being ignored. I suppose, to make me feel better she did say that Elena and Clay would be visiting my home town in a short story she would have coming out soonish...so that is kind of cool. The only book where her publisher did say, get the characters out of Canada, was her young adult series, which she then moved to Buffalo. Apparently, it is easier for teens to relate to characters if they are from their country...and I guess if the majority of your audience is American and do not know much about the world or watch the news or pay attention in geography or history or anything...and it is not like I grew up reading books full of Americans or anything...

*ahem*

Okay, yes, I am a western Canadian and proud of it dammit.

Ummm so yah, was glad I was finally here when she was in my hometown for a book signing. That makes two authors that I have actually met and got to sign books and considering they are some of my fave authors, I think that is pretty good numbers. (the other being Neil Gaiman...best.ever)

Oh btw added in a 2008 recap. Had started it earlier but finally finished it today, it is located farther down.

Right then. Schoolwork.

Concentrate...

Motivate Me

2009-02-04T14:51:00.001-06:00

To Elaborate

2009-02-03T13:52:00.003-06:00

On my earlier post. The wedding social is in one month...I just need to get motivated!!

Please send motivating vibes my way. Also to help resist all the junkfood my mother buys for my father.

Hmmm I had more thoughts on the subject but I forgot.

Oh yes, the sister and I are planning on getting one of those personal trainers for an hour. It is cheaper if you have two people and are both students. Going to book it before class today. Had tea with brother and mother yesterday it was nice. Mother back at work, had minor surgery. What was nice was the father brought her home a dozen roses. Gives me hope for the male species. Brother beat me at trivial pursuit but I think that is due to him knowing obscure sporting facts. My oma and opa still want me to come for lunch this week and my grandparents mentioned me in their family email during their Mexico trip, which was odd because they did not mention anyone else specifically.

Okay, getting a bit familied out...really familied out. But considering I am looking at jobs to get me out of here...maybe now is the time. Especcially with my oma and opa.

What I Missed About Canada

1. My doctor-
I think I have posted about her before. But to sum it all up, she knows my entire medical history, I have had her since twelve years old, she diagnosed me, she has never steered me wrong, I can get in within a couple days if I just have a quick question, sometimes that day or the next, she may not be super chatty doctor but she knows her stuff and will follow-up. In short, if I were to not come back, I would want to her to move with me. I have seen the reviews and people do not like her because she is not that chatty/touchy feely, but my mom, my sister and I would not give her up. My brother wanted to get an appointment with his doctor just to check on his cough, they told him two months.

2. Free health care
Again, considering what I have and now this weird skin infection, yah, I have always really appreciated the free health care, especcially when I am overseas.

3. Driving
Okay, I admit it, especially in this weather, it is nice to drive. Also, I do enjoy just driving...well not in rushhour traffic. But going on the highway, no traffic lights, some good tunes...good times.

4. The gym
I am not a runner and there is no way in hell I was paying the stupid amount they wanted for a membership at the gyms there. I like my uni gym for what it is, the price is perfect for me right now, the location is good for me and the classes are just what I need to motivate me.

5. People speak english
Life suddenly becomes a hell of alot easier when english is everybody's first language, or even the fact that they speak it. I had to buy a power converter in the U.K and I went into the shop, my first day outside of a foreign speaking country and the whole time was going through my French wondering how to explain what a sales clerk asked me in English, what I wanted.
Shock.

6.Customer Service
The French.
Nuff said.

7. My room
Alright, it is always nice to come back and say look! My stuff! My books! My dvd's! My entire wardrobe! I forgot I had these jeans! There is only so much you can pack when you leave, especially considering I was only meant to be gone three months, not nine.

8. Resisting buying stuff because you are always calculating how much your suitcases are going to weigh.
Perhaps in a anti-consumerist way this is really a good thing...but still...

What I did Not Miss

1. The minus thirty and colder weather
It sucks.
2. Public transportation
It Blows.
3. Never finding a bloody parking spot.
It is a cold walk to the nearest building
4. Living with the parents
'Nuff said
5. North American t.v
Dear lord, what is this crap?
6. A lot of North American food
Dear lord, what is this?? Is there actually food somewhere in here?
7. Being back at school
I really really really do not want to be back. I have no motivation to write this damn thesis. I have worked, what the heck will a thesis to do help that work??
8. Chain restaurants
9. Couples
Help Help! I am surrounded!
10.Airfare prices
I am never getting out of the city, let along the province or country, am I?
11. How far apart everything is
Very.

I Have Co-founded a Book Club

2009-02-03T13:07:00.002-06:00

*facevault*

Can I get anymore white, middle class,living in the burbs,with the parents??

Ah well, as long as we are not reading chicklit, I hopefully shall survive.

I also created a facebook page for the group.

There were suggestions to meet at Starbucks.

Sigh

Back at the Gym

2009-02-02T21:41:00.002-06:00

Okay, I have decided I need a hobby since my social life has been suffering since returning. I have decided it will be getting in shape. (again) Sadly, I gained seven pounds since returning and eating North American style with my family. I really got used to eating organic food fresh from the market, eating whole grains, not adding butter to everything...simpler foods but adding herbs or spices to make it interesting, not fat. Heck, I love making my own vingerette!!

My favourite salad, that I made for the family the other day, (which they did not like) my friend for Paris made for us during one of our laundry nights. Just a simple salad but what a difference. It is hard to do iceberg lettuce anymore once you start eating spinach. Anyways, the vingerette just has some extra virgin olive oil, powerdered musterd, and some balsamic vinegar. Pour that on top of some organic spinach, chop up some cherry tomatoes, an avocado (which I now officially love in salads and am trying to add it in more meals) and mozerella and voila. A simple yet healthy and delicious salad!!

But back to being fit, I was doing a hell of a lot more walking everywhere, even if I was not going to the gym. From catching the tram to work, walking the six flights to the library, deciding it was just as quick to walk then to take two trams to pub quiz, walking home after the bar at four a.m (which btw goes much faster when drunk, running down to the boulongerie hungover, hitting the shops...it just made sense. I did go jogging along the lake occasionally at night, just because it was so beautiful and then I was playing football in the park with the boys and english science friend every tuesday for awhile.

Also, I was eating heavier lunches and lighter dinners, thus helping to work off what I was eating during the day and not going to bed full. In short my entire eating and moving habits changed for the better...and within two weeks went very wrong.

Anyways...back at the gym. Very good. Kicked my ass today at my step/skip/kickarobics class at six, but that was good. Felt energized enough to head downstairs afterwards and go on the bike for a half hour then come home and walk the dog. Going to try daily, going to push daily. I know I sleep better, I feel more energized, I feel better about myself and yes, yes I want to look hot. I am superficical that way. I am only 5'2, I have to watch myself. And yes, I have gotten the compliments on my body before, sometimes from the most random people ever, like my friend's boyfriend....but that is besides the point. I want

My new goal is by my friend's wedding social to have lost the seven pounds and and have this stupid skin infection cleared up.(sigh, I get it every once in awhile and it is so very very annoying and hard to get rid of) My doctor says the pills should clear it up in a month and should start working in two weeks.... *crosses fingers* Access to the doctor I have had since I was thirteen and going to the gym, are about the only things I missed really....but that is another post.

2008 Recap & When I Get Down...

2009-01-31T23:23:00.007-06:00

...I remember this is Winter in my hometown and it all makes sense.

2008 I have to admit was a really good year. Yes, this is like a month late but yah. Recapping 2008 I realize I did a lot. Now I just have to keep it up.
So yah to Recap 2008 in no Particular order...Just some Highlights (details of said highlights can probably be found in the blog somewhere)

I finished my first year of my master's programme with pretty decent grades.
Spent Valentine's Day with one of my best friends and a good bottle of a Canadian red.

Dragged a mennonite hippie from the country to a wedding social in the burbs that contained much too many hearts. I think she still believes I owe her one for dragging her to it

Had to bid farewell to Scottish friend...but luckily it was close to when I was to depart.

Was brave, spoke up and asked for an internship anywhere but here.
Got told Geneva.
Replied, I wanted Ireland.
Professor said, Geneva.
Professor was right.

Survived a freaking cold winter.

Left for Geneva.
Got a flat with a roomate.

Started working at famous international organization.

Organized intern nights at a local Irish pub

Went wine tasting in the Geneve canton when all the Caves were open.

Met some very awesome people, as I would continue to do, right up until I left.

Realized my career path, that I could work with an international organization, even with me degree!!!!!
Was very happy.

Learned a lot about working with international organizations from both my bosses.

Got a proper grown up job with another famous international organization.
Was very happy.

Got to stay in Geneve another five months.

Went back to Amsterdam for an awesome week.

Met up with hot irish boy...for a ummmm memorable week...red light district...an attic room...smoking pot...watching the sunrise over the canal...naked in his lap...

English boy sillyness...in the end we were better mates then lovers and I am cool with that...although still think I am hotter then his American chick that dumped him.
:p

Visited my dutch relatives and my oma and opa for the 50th wedding anniversary. Very happy I got to see my Opa before his stroke.

Had fun getting to know my great aunt better and some of my dutch cousins.

Have an open invitation to go back to Amsterdam and crash with him and his family and hook up with some of his younger coworkers.

Awesome weekend with a Canadian mate in Budapest!
Singing songs from our teenage years in Budapest in an Irish bar filled with thirty year olds from Budapest...classic!
Also, best ever vin chaud at the castle there. For some reason, despite trying, we have never been able to find vin chaud that good anywhere else

Got my own flat.

Added in some new nationalities to guys...
Yah, I keep track of nationalites more then numbers.
:p

Prostitute bar, six a.m sunday morning after closing down all the other bars, bartender from one of my fave irish bars...classic

All those Crazy Thursdays with my boys listening to the Crazy Canucks

Vin Chaud!!!

My first U.K Christmas!!!
Deciding to finish up the last two bottles of wine on Christmas Day at like one a.m and then staying up till four watching U.K pop hits while finishing them up with my friend and her cousin

My own private tour of Scottish Parliament when closed to the public!

Getting to watch the Dr.Who Christmas Special, Wallace and Grommit, BlackAdder and the Queen's Speech at the proper times!

Being back in Edinburgh, my old stomping grounds.

New Years in Edinburgh

Just being back in the U.K-I had missed it

Meeting up with two old friends from my London days!! It had been two freaking years!! It was like we had never been apart!!

Snowboarding in the French Alps

Doing a proper wine tasting one day in Morges

Dinners with lawyer friend while doing laundry

French wine with dinner

The Halloween party where practically all the people I knew in Geneva showed up including my stern high up boss who I was trying to convince to support the project and there I was, the 'porn pirate' as my friend oh so politely said. I am still not sure even today if this was a good or bad thing for my project.

Wrapping one of the Columbian's up in my toilet paper and paper towels with twine so he could save money on the entrance fee.

Swimming in Lake Geneva or Lac Leman

Going to the Botillion in Annecy with a bunch of mates and then drinking on a park bench, sparkling wine in plastic champagne glasses and having the French police come by and come close to arresting us for having open alcohol

Botillion getting cancelled but then ending up drinking by the lake, meeting up with random people, getting invited to their flat and then clubbing at like two a.m

Hiking in the French Alps

Quiz nights on Monday with team Nanoq and my other mates-it made me actually look forwards to Monday

Winning a trophy!! Fourth in the league! Woot!

Montreux, each time I went (total three)

Just hanging with irish friend...like splitting a bottle of chianti after work at her flat, on the look out for her basketball players, just chatting, have dinner, having lunch, a cafe, swimming...the simple moments...I miss her

Euro Cup Insanity!!

The first time the Dutch won, Dutch conga lines and all and getting interviewed

Drinks at La Terrasse during the summer on Friday's after work

Brunch with some CS'ers allllll day

Sunday afternoon texts from the boys when they were bored begging me and irish friend to join them at the pub because they were bored

Fete de la musique

Sitting in the grass, chilling to some jazz on a hot sunny day with the boys and some white wine

Overcoming something I didnt think I could overcome on my own

Wine with a cork, no wine bottle opener, three interns, at work, three o'clock, Friday afternoon, need a drink...find a screw driver...disaster and hilariousness and yes, drenched in wine...had to go back to respective offices after wine was consumed...surprised we were not fired

My farewell party/friend's bday party which involved many drinking games, chili vodka, best homemade cocktails ever and hell of a lot of Irish music at the pub

Finally getting to do a proper fondue with a bunch of good mates

Free vin chaud during the opening weekend of the light festival

Sipping vin chaud in the French Alps after a day of sking...so much better

Hiking in the Jungfrau region and feeling like I was in the freaking IMAX

Playing football on Tuesday's with the guys

Sailing on Lake Geneva on a beautiful beautiful sunny day, mountains in the backround, good friends, blue skies...

Suisse wine
French food
Cheese!

I am sure there was plenty of more highlights...but these were some...

I miss it.

But I have to admit. It was an awesome year.

Nothing About Nothing

2009-01-28T16:22:00.002-06:00

Yah....
I got nothing.
Except the usual boringness.
Taking my one class
Project on Switzerland of all topics
Saw my brother drunk on Sat after I crashed a social he was at with an old workmate
He is an ass when drunk
But he drove me to annual check up today-so all is good
As long as he dosen't crow too much about beating me at trivial pursuit last night
Finally figured out who that Ruby song is by
It kept being played in two new shows from the U.K, Demons and Being Human
Demons basically basically buffy with a guy, british accents and Giles is an American
Being Human about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost living in the same house, so the Odd Couple, again with British accents and the vampire guy is all emo
Actually most of the characters seem emoish-am kinda liking Being Human but have not been able to get into Demons as much
Really what is with all these paranormal showes lately?
Have been listening to more Lady Gaga
Kinda annoyed I missed her show
Cat went though
Went for annual doctor appointment today
I appear okay
Will see when the bloodwork and other tests get back
My mom put the red in the fridge
Le sigh
Did talk to the rep at the LC last night-apparently the wood they make for the wine corks are basically almost gone-wine-even good wine is switching to plastic and screw tops
Normally screw-tops indicate the cheap three franc a litre wine
But apparently they are better then wooden corks at keeping out air
Learn something new everyday
Lost our dodgeball game but little brother gave me a ride and ended up playing too
Good at dodging-not so much at throwing
Joining gym
Have gained weight since returning-damn you North America and your food and lack of an efficient transportation system which would enable me to actually walk sometimes
Ugh in general I just feel gross-my parents are not exactly into the health food and due to lack of steady income and not wanting to eat away paycheque not going out and buying food...

Yesterday I realized it had been exactly two weeks since returning...
All things considered I suppose I have kept fairly busy doing things like doctor's appointments, arranging for other appointments, replacing cards, been to library, sorting out mail, starting up school again, getting caught up with email and facebook messages (sometimes I get utterly lazy with all that)had lunch with various friends, got some work with old job, unpacked, seen grandparents, lunch with dad and grandpa, went to a book signing (shall have another entry about that)

Yet to Do:
Meet with professor
Work on thesis
Apply for jobs Swiss mates keep sending me (even insane english boy said he would keep a look out!! awwww!)
Join gym
Get back to going three to six times a week
Catch up on all my readings
Get job (although may have one soon either way and old workmate offered me a full-time job already but thinking I should stick to part time but mental health wise...maybe not so good)
Find out where the hell my money from my Suisse account is
Plan trips

Must be off....

My Home Town-In Freaking January

2009-01-21T17:03:00.002-06:00

Chat with scottish friend...dear lord...why am I here? Life is out there and I am back here...She has been involved in a shipwreck, lived in Hawaii and is now surfing in Oz....

Anywho, we did agree that the whole one night stand thing gets a little tiring and sometimes, (and maybe this is the lazy person in me) it is nice to have a stable relationship for more then a month.

It's not like I dont have random guys and guys friends (yes they are sober!) telling me I am hot. Because I do. At the most random of times. Leaving me going, wtf? The whole, proper relationship thing has eluded me for awhile though. I know part of it, is my transient ways...my yearning to see the world...but I know plenty of people who have found guys in the meantime...stop gap guys? Mr.right now? Fill up some time till I move on guys? Yes, I have left my home town twice...but I keep coming back! I just need someone who wants to leave with me perhaps.

Or maybe I am just too picky. My brother the other day, was like 'why cant you find a nice guy like that' after we had met up with an old mate of mine. In all truth I have never been particularly attracted to my old mate, but at one point we did flirt with the idea of going out but I never took it anywhere and he ended up with a girlfriend who is far better suited to him and suits his sense of humour to a tee and likes board games.

What brought on this? Scottish friend's guy and yet another social invite. They are getting younger and younger but I keep getting older and older! I am only twenty-five people! I want to travel and I want a career and I want a life!

Hmmmmmm
Those things should not be mutually exclusive...

Anywho. Got some work for the next couple of days with old job. Am apparently heading out skiing this weekend with the CS group. Meeting with schoolmate over project on of all things, Switzerland on Friday.

Tonight hoping to go to the mall, just because I can go after seven. At least there is something good about being back in Canada...right? Not buying cloathes till my Swiss francs come in and I have been at the gym for at least a month.

Okay. I am boring myself. Time for wine...
:p

New Year

2009-01-15T21:38:00.003-06:00

Back living with the parents. Dear lord. Cabin fever already setting in and it has only been two days.

Lots of good times before I left. Crashed with two friends, one in Divonne and one in Geneva. Saw the Crazy Canucks one last time, hung out with the boys, did wine tasting in a cave near Morges, had drinks in Nyon, visited the market in Divonne, ate as much fresh french bread as possible and all of my favourite Suisse treats,had some lovely homemade french dinners with mates, had a cafe with the english boys in Divonne, enjoyed one last quiz night on monday that turned out to be a mates birthday, that turned into also award night and also free drinks because I was leaving the next day that turned into three-thirty by the time I got to bed that turned into, oh fuck, its almost six and my flight leaves at seven o five. Did get there on time. Was hungover but redwine on the longhaul between Frankfurt and Toronto helped. Air Canada has completely redesigned their planes and actually liked flying air canada this time. Good chats with various people, including random German guys in Toronto airport when waiting for luggage. They laughed when I got mine, as my backpack generally looks bigger then me.

Currently adjusting but also applying for more internships and jobs back in Geneva. Am realizing that here is not for me but honestly do not know where is for me. Drinks with B and brother dear yesterday. Then went to curling store in north end. You know you are back in Canada when...today lunch with grandpa and dad. Reorganized books...think my reading habits have changed...trying to make a doctors appointment...trying to catch up with people...trying not to die of bordom or think if I was in Geneva right now...I would have been out at Mullies for the Crazy Canucks possibly having another round with bartender...parents and sister driving me insane...must get new drivers license so I can drive again...must also deposit franc for Canadian and see if wire transfer from Swiss account went through and talk to professors and...well in general, sort out my life. Also try not to groan when parents ask if I had a boyfriend in Geneva because I 'have lots of pictures with boys'
Dear lord.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2009-01-05T03:42:00.002-06:00

Back in Switzerland...well technically Divonne France. Crashing with a mate in her grandparents condo. Heading into Geneve today to get stuff sorted and possibly have lunch with my mates if facebook will ever let me in!!
Hopefully book my flight today, transfer money to my Canadian account, get my visa, have lunch with mates and....who knows what else...hmmm transfer pounds back to francs...pay back canadian mate....
Okay have to get going. Have to take the bloody bus and train to get to Geneva. If you live in Divonne they assume you are rich enough to own a car and do not need public transport that is easily accessible...le sigh.

Five Minute Post

2008-12-30T04:59:00.003-06:00

Then heading out to the Last Drop for a cappacino I think. No I cannot spell...
Canadian friend found a place in a hotel, which is ironically for virtually the same costs the hostels are going for right now. She booked the 30th and 1st which is alright. Just going to do an all nighter on New Years
Will not be that hard. Met up with saffie friend from days of the badger!!! Much fun was to be had last night. We watched the torchlight procession and were too cheap to get torches but were walking along and then got free torches from some random people!!! Then we walked up to Carlton Hill for a massive bonfire and buring of some sort of effigy and then one of the best fireworks displays I have ever seen!! After that hit up a couple pubs with her boyfriends friends. Headed home early...around one. All around an awesome night and today my canadian friend and old ozzie mate from london comes!!! Shall be busy!! For now, headed to pub with a book, where I shall rest my weary head...
In case I am not back on...
Happy New Years!!!!

Hopefully I survive.

Life is Random

2008-12-27T17:14:00.002-06:00

So here I am, drinking saffie wine at a random hostel in Edinburgh, almost exactly two years from when I first left the city. It is so very weird to be back. But apparently I kinda remember where stuff is. Didn't have a chance to paint the town red, but met up with some long termers here and have been chatting with them, so its all good. Rocked up here around five and its almost midnight and I reckon it will be best to catch up with some sleep tonight. My ideal plan tomorrow is to buy a copy of the london times and spend the afternoon reading it. Yes, that is my ideal.
Anyways, free internet access, which is awesome but thats why you get to know the long termers and those who work at the pub/hostel. Free drinks are also generally involved. Not the end of the world that I did not hit the town tonight. Drinking wine and just chatting with the long termers and catching up on facebook has been enough for me.

Also, just found out that three, count em three, of old mates from London are going to be in Edinburgh for new years!! How awesome is that?? I have not seen some of these girls in over two years!!! Canadian mate does not arrive till 30th along with rest of girls but one of them arrives on the 29th and I expect there will be much cheap wine so I reckon, like I said, tonight and tomorrow, I will take it easy...spend the day reading the paper, chillaxing...although anytime I say I am going to take it easy turns into...well stuff...oh dear...but no really tomorrow shall be different...

Anyways, life is random. If I was less tipsy I would give a proper update...how can I return....really??? I can randomly interupt a conversation and end up with free internet and alcohol....

Back in Edinburgh

2008-12-27T12:16:00.002-06:00

Flew into Edinburgh on the 24th, went up to dundee for xmas. Spent boxing day in fife at a massive party, spent today in st.andrews and am back in edinburgh in a hostel. Very weird to be back but it seems all so familiar. But I have only been back a couple of hours. Will do a proper update soon but only have two minutes left on internet.
but really, so weird to be back. Will now go in search of vin chaud!

Quick update

2008-12-22T16:38:00.002-06:00

So much to do, literally no time. Also freaking that my visa will not make it and I will not be able to leave the bloody country.
Okay so some highlights...
Wens was drinks at my fave wine bar with stupid english boy then dinner. Thursday I did fondue for the first time ever!!! Random assortment of mates but great fun!! Then headed off to Mullies and was there till two freaking a.m...dear lord.
Friday took the traditional two hour french lunch, was a special xmas lunch with mates from various other organizations and near by agencies. Lots of wine and lemoncello to be had...then workmates on project group gave me a small farewell and cake which was super sweet!!!

That night hung out with irish friend at a posh bar, chatted and had some wine. Saturday was lazy then cleaned/organized, hit the shops,bought some mulled wine, bought a super nice and expensive leather jacket, had some tea at a posh tea shop. Hit up ethno with her and french lawyer friend and random french guy afterwards till after midnight then headed to shakers, which, as always was messy. Tension for a bit between irish friend and I because I advised her to give up her obsession with a basketball player who had not phoned in weeks...better to be cruel then kind?? I do tend to appreciate it better when B calls me an idiot.
Then crush from mullies showed up and well... we werent talking or anything but as he went by I mentioned I had been there the night before...

Next thing you know shakers is shutting down at like five a.m and we head to the twenty bar, which was basically a prostitute bar and we do some more drinking, remember, this is past five a.m...and there may have been some making out and there may have been some back to my place...parisian lawyer friend quite shocked. But honestly, he is hot, I had an itch, also slightly drunk...I honestly have no complaints, especcially considering we had both been up all night.

So bed at eight thirtyish...tried to get some shut eye...not remotely productive...then met up with parisian lawyer friend for a cafe then dropped off a certain someones wallet. Two options on how to do it, in a pub full of people. I chose the classy way, with a brief, 'I believe this is yours' and a smirk and a wave and never look back.

Then met up with a canadian friend...poor guy was dissapointed about walking into said prostitute bar and seeing me with the bartender...but I watched liverpool vs arsenal, had some dinner, a couple glasses of the shiraz,read the London times, then back to canadian friends place for a stoner flick then bed....

and that was my last official weekend in Geneva. How unfair is that?

Nostalgic

2008-12-22T04:48:00.002-06:00

The Christmas spirit does not really come to Geneva but none the less I have been missing home and cat a bit. I ended up tagging some old school pictures of us that I had scanned of us from when we were like 20 or 21. It is funny...we are so alike in some ways...

My poor mom is getting teary eyed at the fact that I am not going back for x-mas. Mom guilt...I am a horrible horrible daughter...I really need to find a special present for her...

Old classmate has photos up from our first trip to Europe. I look at 'her'(me) and I think...how much things have changed...yet not...you know what I mean? I mean, I was 17...17!! Like, jeez louise, that is almost ten freaking years ago...starting to feel my age...also, what the hell were you wearing...while I admit in general I lack any sort of style...jeez louise girl...

Sometimes I feel like I am two different people. There is the nerdy, book loving, history major, likes watching BBC productions and droning on and on about the importance of the archive raspberry swyrl...and then there is the making out with a bartender from a local pub at six in the morning in some random prostitute bar in the red light district of Geneve after being out all night drinking and partying and closing down all the bars even the one that is open till five in the morning raspberry swyrl...

Which one am I?
Who am I?

Anyways, lunch. Will report back on weekend later.

How I wish...

2008-12-19T10:03:00.000-06:00

...I could stay.

Feels Like Thursday...

2008-12-18T09:49:00.003-06:00

One final celebration before we all leave...
It really is happening.
But it is Swiss Fondue and the Crazy Canucks tonight-trying to bid a proper expat farewell to Geneve....

Weekend

2008-12-17T07:50:00.002-06:00

Okay quick quick update. The cappacino is doing funny things to my head. Yes, I have adopted the french custom of having a 'cafe' after lunch and yes, that means coffee. Me. I know. I came back from England drinking tea and now I am coming back from Geneve drinking coffee.

Ummmm, Friday. Department xmas party was boring but free wine. Once my workmates left, I ran into these random girls, one of which was from another oganization. Once our dept party had winded down around six-thirty, went over to another organization and crashed their xmas party because mates of mine had invited me already since it was so near by and our badges get us in anyways. More free wine. Tons of fun and closed the place down. We are cool that way.

Afterwards went to Charleys and met up with the two girls again and then with english science friend to catch up and organize the next day. Left around oneish. Very reasonable for me, I know!

Saturday met up with parisian lawyer friend and spent the day at the escalade in the old town...and discovered free vin chaud!! Delicious!! Also had traditional treats and some really really good soup, called royal mother soup...royaume mere potage...I think that is how it is spelled. I of course gave an entire history lecture because I researched the history behind the escalde beforehand! I am such a nerd. Even had other people listening in. (english)

Then we went back to my place, I changed and a canadian mate met up with us and then we met up with insane english boy and all took the same tram to english science mates place for our party. Got there around seven-thirty, got the snacks ready...and then the drinks...

Theme was cocktale night...

We had no recipies...

But we had some alcohol, some salad bowls, some basic mixers, mint, lemons, limes and whatever the hell anyone brought...

We had an interesting time when realized we needed more ice to make proper mojitos. So we went round to random restaurants and got them to fill up some buckets we had lying around. Then we had no way to mix the sugar, mint and ice so as we finally discovered and this is a good idea for anyone who is having a party, the bottom of a heiniken bottle makes for an excellent mixer. In fact, insane english boy said it is better then some of the proper mixers he has used before!! We also discovered that mashing the ice before with a frying pan works quite well.

Also, for the first drink we made, that was a mix of a bit of everything, you really can always use more vodka...

By then people had started arriving and everybody was really having a good time! We then discovered the magic of chili flavoured vodka, with ginger beer and real chilis...not to be missed!

Or perhaps the drinking games helped. There was about twenty of us and we started on Kings, (with one rule for 'i never' and as insane english boy kept saying...you guys are all lying!) then the fruit game and then twenty-one plus one...I had not laughed that much in ages...

This was followed by rounding everyone up and heading off to the pub somewhere just after midnight. Live music by this guy we love, and Irishman. He really gets the crowd into it!! There are some hilarious pictures of us all holding on to each other and swaying...

Then we closed the place down and then headed home. Gooooood night!! (even if there were slightly inappropriate pictures taken...none posted on fb, heh)

Next day met up with english science friend and we enjoyed some of the escalade again and then had a lovely tea at this little shop we discovered in the old town. Really really nice afternoon wandering about chatting and of course, some more vin chaud!!

I think the escalade in general deserves its own post. The city gets really into it. I mean, there are real costumes, secret passage ways only open during the two days of the escalade, bonfires, celebrations...my boss said, this and the fete de la musique are pretty much the only two events that Geneve does big. There are parades, musket demonstations, cannons, the old town is packed! Gooooood times!

Made it an early night or tried to. Could not sleep a wink all night so of course was late for work.

Met up with some of the guys for lunch at the Italian place and there was free red wine and two limencellos...oh dear. Lucky, it was the main xmas party that night and with the way that our office is set up, we could not get any work down due to the sounds of it being set up and the speakers.

Work party was kinda really lame but parisian friend came and I got insane english boy in and there may have been the macarana involved. Dear lord. So then the lot of us, all headed off to our last pub quiz with original members...boooooooo and met up with english science friend, another canadian friend and stupid english boy...it was very sad to be doing my last quiz...it was pretty much the only reason to look forward to Monday...its like having a regular sport you do with friends, you know?? A friend of mine who sometimes subs in, keeps laughing at us, because we take our quiz so seriously, passionately debating our answers!

To say that I was tired, was not exagerating. But I made it!

Tuesday I stayed home...tonight...who knows. I may try and text someone...if I get three other things done first...

I have a life here.

You know?

2008-12-17T07:44:00.000-06:00

I really really

2008-12-17T07:29:00.002-06:00

...do not want to leave.

I never thought that I would be the most content I have in awhile in Geneve. Geneve! I was aiming for Ireland, for Dublin, hell a small town somewhere! Instead my professor says *insert international organization* archives in Geneve and I asked him to try and get me elsewhere!

Here, unless I think about going back, I can be the person I know I am. When I return...I revert back to the old swyrl...you know? My workmate says most people feel like that when they return 'home'...

I suppose part of it is because this is the first time in my life I have had a 'grown up' job, a flat, a variety of friends that I can generally give a call any night of the week. Plus, while we are mostly expats, I have only a couple of actually Swiss friends, let alone Genevois mates,there are plenty of European mates too. Plus, I would love to take up snowboarding this season! Apparently last winter it was crap but everybody is excited this year!!

Okay, realizing this is my last full week of work has made me all emotional and stuff. I mean, even if I were to get a job, I would still have to return to Canada for at least a month I reckon to...

-See family, especcially Opa
-See my local doctor-have several things have put off here that really should be looked at but since I was not dying...
-Get new medical insurance
-Talk to professor about thesis
-Get research done on thesis
-Get eyes checked and new glasses
-Go to dentist
-Buy a laptop
-Get my new drivers license
-Get my new health card
-Get my new bank card
-Sort out any other Canadian business
-Join the damn gym and get in bloody shape again
-Catch up on sleep

Okay, all of that I want to do within the first couple of weeks anyways. But still...long bloody list!

Okay, still awaiting a proper weekend update!!

No more lunches at various cafes...monday...limencello...red wine...at lunch...

2008-12-17T01:55:00.001-06:00

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/12/warning-the-int.html

pft work

2008-12-15T09:23:00.001-06:00

Awesome (yes I said awesome) Weekend!

2008-12-15T09:21:00.001-06:00

Will post later but they are blaring bad x-mas carols downstairs which indicates the agency wide xmas party is about to start. But will stay up hear till the boring speeches are done...what I did with the other agency one that I crashed on Friday. Go badges!

Monday Morning or Maybe midi….okay either way it is Monday

2008-12-15T09:16:00.000-06:00

The guys from unhcr at lunch were buying us red wine and limencello…add in not sleeping last night, late for work today and then still having work xmas party to go to then quiz to go…bedtime at least…oh dear...many many green teas and cappuccinos to go….

...and it is only Monday.

Friday-Finally Four-thirty

2008-12-12T09:36:00.000-06:00

Well not quite. But that is when the IS staff party begins! Although why the big organization wide one is on Monday instead of today, who knows. My friends in private firms and financial organizations have awesome staff parties to go to at fancy hotels, with free drinks, massive banquets ect. Us? Party in the cafeteria. Booooo

Friends of mine have invited me to their agencies staff party, which I may crash afterwards, perhaps around six-thirty or so. Just in time to skip all the boring speeches!! Just get on with the free alcohol!

Some sort of glocals type xmas party I may go to tonight, but may see what English science friend is up to. All I know is stupid English boy is going to be there with his glocals type mates.

Soooo this week…Monday quiz, did our worst yet, boooo. But still alright, hometown mate also came back. Massive story about her, but do not feel like writing it all out right now. Will do later. Anyways, had long lunch with her on Tuesday, and met up with mutual Canadian friend who bought us wine and limencello. (sp) Then got off early and helped her out to the airport. Got back, red wine, Damien rice…then worried for the rest of the evening.

Wednesday, last free comedy night at Pickwicks. Met up with insane, stupid and science English friends and a couple others. The comedian was a Canadian and due to the fact that the opening act cancelled, he had to be his own opening act, which was rather amusing. He kept me laughing but honestly, I do not believe an English comedy club is going to work in Geneva unless they charge less then twenty-eight francs!

Meant to leave right after…really did. Instead left around elevenish, as insane English boy kept buying me wine. Had an interesting discussion about Cat’s current predicament (also for another day) and was told
‘You have an excellent ass raspberry sywrl’
And
‘Any guy would have sex with you in this room, any guy but a relationship is an entirely different matter.’
Followed by yet again,
‘Darling we should really have sex before you go-What day is best for you?’
Thursday hit the shops and bought a new sweater dress, got some free wine being handed out on rue de marche by the UBS then met up with irish friend for a couple of drinks at Mullies. Due to the fact that I was not with insane English friend, I actually left by eleven!

Party Time!
Bonn Weekend!

Budapest, Geneve & France

2008-12-09T08:32:00.001-06:00

Geneve & France

2008-12-09T08:14:00.001-06:00

Monday Blues...but wait..its Quiz!

2008-12-08T12:37:00.002-06:00

This weekend was fun and filled and well…happy. You know?
On Friday we all dressed up and headed out to this charity thing that turned out to be dead but we made our own fun, and ended up talking to these random dutch bankers. It was Canadian and Irish friend so lots of silly fun was to be had! Girls night out!!
We left fairly earlish and went to Mullies and Canadian friend crashed on my couch and we watched Love Actually and were just generally pretty silly.

Slept in a bit the next day and tidied my flat and got lectured by my parents then hit the shops, got a new dress, ankle boots, a sweater and necklace. After met up with Irish friend and we hit up the stands and had some yummy mulled wine while wondering around the old town. Irish friend got the Swiss version of a hotdog. Basically slice a massive baguette in half, ram it on a pole that is heated then when someone wants a hotdog, they pour mustard or ketchup down the hold and then stick a German sausage inside…

Since it was the Escalade all the lights were on (so very very pretty, will post one of the pics), it was busy and the trams were not going up and down rue de marche. We then watched the Marmite race, which I have to admit, had better costumes then Halloween! Great fun. Then we met up with Canadian friend and had even more mulled wine. Canadian friend and I are experts and judged each accordingly and were always on the lookout.(we could tell that the stuff at parc de bastion was not as good because they added sugar instead of Port and the ones where they added the orange slices are always the best) After a bit more of a wonder, we went over to Parc de Bastion and crashed the winners party and saw who won for best costume…after that headed to Springbrothers, exasperating Canadian friend when Irish friend and I could not find it for a bit, but that was only because we have no sense of direction and had headed to it from the wrong direction and it turned out we had been on the right side of the street…just farther down! Then we utterly embarrassed her by singing along to the music…and no, we were not drunk…we were just being…well us! Of course if we had been drunk that at least would have been an excuse! (irish friend never drinks and it takes a hell of a lot for Canadian friend to get drunk)
Had some wine then headed over to Molard and the Brasseaurs and had the specialty before calling it a night…

Up at seven-thirty the next morning where we met up with stupid english boy for some skiing/boarding in the French alps!! We left Geneve at 8:15 and arrived at Mont Blanc around ten-thirty, beautiful drive there!! Canadian friend and I rented snowboards, I got new sunnies and a borrowed a truly hidious pair of pink snow pants and of course the pictures are on facebook…if you cant laugh at yourself…

I then attempted to snowboard for the first time in my life with no lessons…lets just say it was an interesting day. Canadian friend hung out with me on the bunny slopes and gave me some tips and taught me the basics but I finally just told her to go ahead and try a blue run while I stuck to the bunny hill while the five year olds whizzed by me on their skiis. These French and Italian kids learn young!

Biggest accomplishment of the day, was getting on the ski lift thing that brought you back up the hill after one try. Now this machine, is basically a pole that you stick between your legs with a disk at the end that you do not so much as sit on, as you lean against as you whiz up the hill and try to keep from falling…I fell. Also, it took me ten minutes and lots of help from the French chick to get on it the first time. Pretty much the most humiliating part of the day. I could take falling down, I could take the nose dives, I could take almost running over small children but this added a whole new level.

But all in all it was a really fun day!! Really glad I got to try it out and if I was staying longer I definitely would have been out in the mountains more often…

Also, the mulled wine tastes that much better after a day like that. Very sore today though. But it was worth it….

I snowboarded in the freaking Alps!!! I mean how cool is that??!!

Plus a costumed marmite race, plus hanging out with friends from around the world, plus...well just everything!

And that was my weekend…time is flying by so fast…

Friday Falling down

2008-12-05T10:00:00.002-06:00

You know what I hate?
Delayed hangovers.
At work.

Another week…another week closer…

So I think I am just going to head off to Manchester with Canadian friend. What with the insights I have gained into the male mind recently…
Mystery solved, stupid English boy has a new girl from Ethiopia that he met at the French language café. Insane English boy was telling me about it last night. How the hell does he get all these girls?? As insane English boy put it last night..’it’s not like you are anything to look at.’ Which is true!
Then insane English boy last night was telling me about this girl he is currently having a thing with that I met last week. How she ‘wants a relationship now’ and how he ‘doesn’t have any time for one.’ Then he went on to say, he would go along with it for now, for the sex and then do something really bad to make her dump him or not be with him.

Dear lord.

Like I said, the insights into the male mind are scary…slim pickings I tell ya...I have got to stop hanging out with this bloody lot.
So lets see…

Monday pub quiz. A guy Canadian friend subbed in, as one of our team mates was in Dublin helping out with the Oslo Treaty. Tuesday, had a lovely evening with a glass of red, some Damien Rice and intense political debate. Wednesday, late at work, gym, then laundry and tea and t.v with French lawyer friend. Thursday, last night. Hit the shops, found clothes I do not need but kinda really want now. Want a new pair of knee high boots and one pair that are low heel…thinking of budgeting myself three hundred francs for some new clothes and boots…

Then went to Ethno with insane English boy and met up with a friend of his, another lawyer girl, this time from Australia, that I met last week at her house party. Had a couple bottles of wine, then headed off to Mulligan’s after stupid English boy joined us. He left somewhere after midnight and we left…dear lord, far too late. Walked back and insane English boy crashed at my place and left this morning for class, when I went to work…

Idiot.

I think we watched some family guy at like two a.m, while I was falling asleep.
I was thinking about sleeping with him but I think not now. I mean what kind of guy, talks to you and says, ‘Raspberry Swyrl, seriously, I think we should sleep together before you go’

Yah huh.

No.

Still hungover. Ugh. Plus tonight we are doing some charity fancy dress up thing that I invited people to and now I just want to fall down and sleeeeeep. But I cannot. Since I am the one who organized the girls and dressing up and insane English boy is trying to get me out to this electro thing after.

Sigh.

I would drink more caffine but I do actually want to sleep tonight

Also it is the escalade tomorrow,organize the combined birthday/farewell english science friend and I are throwing and I am going skiing on Sunday and there goes my weekend. I am tired before it even started…

But I don’t want to miss a moment.

Bon Weekend!!!!

Political Crazyness

2008-12-04T09:26:00.002-06:00

http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2008/12/03/f-rfa-macdonald.html#socialcomments

Travel & Christmas & New Year’s Options in Europe

2008-12-02T11:03:00.000-06:00

General Travel
-Go to London the weekend before X-mas and crash with English science friend and go to her birthday and catch up with London workmates including saffie mate from days of the Badger
-Crash with old saffie mate the weekend before x-mas and go to English science friend’s bday and catch up with workmates
-Go to Ireland the weekend before X-mas and either a) Go to Dublin and meet up with Irish friend on the Sunday for dinner with her sister or b) go to Belfast in the hopes of seeing irish guy again
-Go to Ireland after the new year and either a) Go to Dublin or b) go to Belfast in the hopes of seeing irish guy again

Christmas
-Dutch relatives on my own
-Manchester with Canadian mates relatives and then head up to Dundee with them
-X-mas in Geneve with another Canadian friend
-X-mas in Hastings with stupid English boy
-X-mas near Bristol with insane English boy

New Year’s
-Crash with Canadian friends relatives in Edinburgh and do hogmony, most of my friends have left Edinburgh so we would have to rely on her connections because there is no way in heck we would find room at this point to stay
-Amsterdam-crash with my cousin and get his workmates to take us out and do it up proper in dam
Verbier with insane English boy, it’s a suisse ski resort, one of the most popular in Switzerland, he and his mates have rented some chateau’s and plan to spend three days skiining/snowboarding during the day and drinking all night
-Meet up with stupid English boy for a house party in hastings or head to brighton which might be awesome on new years (I have already done new years in London)
-Go to Geneve and hang with Barbados/Peruvian mates and the party they are putting on (although my boss just warned me that new years in geneva is very boring)

One more weekend of Geneva goodness gone

2008-12-02T04:27:00.001-06:00

This weekend was great fun!

Friday after work ran a couple errands then met up with English science friend and the Columbians and then wandered around Geneve…with free yummy mulled wine and free raclette and free roasted chestnuts, with most of Geneve out and about, looking at the beautiful trees and lights!! We had a really lovely time.

Afterwards headed to Café Cuba for some wine and met up with the boys. English science friend went home, leaving me with the boys and we headed off to a house party. Insane English friend…well he had a lot of shots of tequila…and whisky…both of which I avoided and stuck to my vodka!! Go me!! (I only do tequila when very very very very drunk-one of my worst hangovers ever involved tequila and the taste…) Was dancing/hanging to goodness knows what time before catching a cab home with one of the Columbians.

Saturday, woke up at stupid o’clock and then randomly went to Nyon for the afternoon with insane English boy. (he has a car so no train) We wandered around and had lunch at a café and some more yummy mulled wine at the markets…really a lovely afternoon. Kinda surprising actually. I am considering something before I go…But anyways, Nyon is a lovely little town and I am glad I had a chance to do a proper wander.

After, got back, crashed for a couple hours (debated about napping but decided against) then irish friend stopped by and we grabbed some pizza at the Portuguese place across the road, (where the chef told us he had made the pizza with love just for us) had some tea and just hung out for most of the evening. Then, she went home to change and then we headed out to Carouge to meet up with the English boys and some Genovoise mates of theirs. First club we went to was a younger crowd which was a welcome change and then headed to a less crowded place till somewhere around oneish. Ended up randomly debating politics with the english boys. Stupid English boy and I have a long standing debate on whether the States should withdraw from Iraq now or stay till the country at least stabilizes. Then irish friend and I headed to la sip. I was doing a favour for irish friend, and it is a long story but to sum it up, it involves, guys, a dodgy Brazilian club, Brazilian midgets, the Genevian basketball team, kissing the wrong one and apparently when I left without saying goodbye, my phone number was asked for by several members…but she got her man!! I was an excellent wingman! Go me!

Woke up at stupid oclock on Sunday and had texts from various people. Ended up at irish’s friends place for tea and I brought round some goodies from the boulongerie then we headed out and about in Geneve, walking around on a beautiful sunny day and ended up having the oh so delicious five franc potage de legumes at the baines des paquis. We sat outside, eating our delicious soup and just people watching. Ended up at a pub afterwards and had some wine. Really into the shiraz right now. After Irish friend went off to mass and I met up with stupid English boy and had an excellent dinner and merlot at café des artes.

And that was my weekend.

Friday-Fourty-Five

2008-11-28T10:02:00.001-06:00

Yep, fourty five minutes to go. Yesterday I could see the mountains quite clearly, which always makes for a beautiful sunset. This afternoon I can see them a bit, but not as clear as yesterday. Either way they are covered in snow.

Somewhat productive today. Hurrah

Have to make some major decisions this weekend. I really really do. Like if I am going back to the city for the holidays or staying here to party it up in Europe. I have relatives to crash with for Christmas over here in the Netherlands and my friend has invited me to stay with her relatives in Manchester. This is the same mate whom I went to Budapest with. Was tempted to do Amsterdam for New Years and meet up with some mates or my cousin but heard it was not all that. Tempted to do Edinburgh and Homogony as I missed it last time…

But also, would hate to miss it with the family. Would really hate to. Wish I had a private jet and that prices for trips overseas had not skyrocketed so high…

Well will write a longer post detailing the pros and cons of going back for the holidays or not, including mother guilt trips and the sister acting like she is five and defriending me because I adjusted privacy setting and do not allow relatives to see tagged photos of me anymore.

This week was usual quiz a lundi, Tuesday stopped by Irish mates place to drop off the money I owed her and ended up having a lovely three hour chat over a bottle of excellent red. Was really nice to do a proper catch up. Wensday I…reveled in the fact that I had my flat back to myself and after I went to the gym (where I just about died doing a cycling class but it felt good!) I headed home and watched a movie, had a shower and fell asleep by eleven! Actually, these past two nights I have fallen asleep by eleven while watching t.v. Dear lord I am turning into my parents!! Thursday meant to go to the gym but ended up meeting with a fellow Canadian for drinks at an irish pub after work and had a lovely convo. Meant to stay for the Crazy Canadian’s that play every Thursday but she had to get back before the busses stopped running because she lives in France…

Tonight they have a grand opening ceremony for La Fete Arbres & Lumieres which I am going to with English science friend for a couple of hours. We plan on drinking mulled wine as we wonder around Geneve marveling at the pretty lights and crazy trees…looking forward to it and the mulled wine!!! (Actually, anything that involves mulled wine-otherwise known as hot wine, vin chaud, gluewine…I am pretty much up for)

http://www.arbresetlumieres.ch/

Afterwards meeting up with insane and stupid english boys for a house party, which shall be nice and cheap and more intimate. Irish friend invited me to a ‘russian party’ at this club (the name of which I recently learned means seventh heaven which is a ‘poetic’ expression for orgasm, or so my French workmate said) but I would much rather do a house party. I do not do those often enough! I do the clubbing/bar thing all the time anyways...well here anyways.

Other then that, no plans besides revising the cv, maybe hitting the shops and going to the gym this weekend. Going to try and save money, if that is at all possible, especially with the purse being stolen ect.

We will see how it goes…dim sum on Sunday anyone?

It is the weekend.

Upon Discovery...

2008-11-28T04:33:00.002-06:00

...that my old irish workmate has a girlfriend, via friending him, through a friend of a friend after seeing him last Friday.

Me: *sigh* He has a girlfriend!There goes that crush!
Friend: There is still hope! I am in a relationship with my friend who has a boys name and people always ask about 'him' meanwhile I do really have a 'complicated' relationship with an actual guy but that is not who I am referring to...so maybe it is a joke relationship? Common on Facebook now a days!
Me:Nope,when I clicked on his girlfriends name, her profile picture was a picture of the two of them.
Friend: Ah, then they are official. The picture makes them official.
Me: Also she is Scandenavian
Friend: You are screwed.

My life and new goals

2008-11-27T09:10:00.000-06:00

Everytime I get tired or cranky, or feel like I am not doing anything with my life or get a ticket for a hundred freaking francs on the bus by the stupid ass TPG guys because I lost my freaking ticket and why don’t I get a monthly pass already because I keep loosing the bloody thing and I swear every time I do, that’s when they come on, and its generally in the morning when I am running for the bus and that is always when it slips out and grrrrrrr

Anyways, I try to think as a new year approaches that it will be 2009 and that in the last three and a half years I have…

-Finished my undergrad in history
-Moved to London
-Lived in London for a year and worked
-Traveled around England and Scotland
-Spent Christmas with Dutch relatives in Belgium
-Traveled around the Netherlands and Germany a bit, including Amsterdam
-Traveled around Italy
-Lived in Edinburgh
-Met many people from Austalia/New Zealand/South Africa/Canada/Denmark/England
-Had various flings with various guys of various nationalities
-Worked during an election, satisfying my nerdy political side
-Worked in a pub
-Applied for and been accepted into a masters programme
-Completed my first year
-Submitted my thesis proposal
-Lived in Geneva
-Done a paid internship with an international organization
-Spent a week in Amsterdam-with a former Irish fling
-Got upgraded to first class for the first time in my entire life
-Spent more time with Dutch relatives and saw more of the Netherlands & Belgium
-Taken an unexpected train ride across Europe when getting caught in an airport strike
-Stayed in a five star hotel
-Done wine tasting around the Geneva Canton
-Gotten a proper job with an international organization
-Traveled around Switzerland-French and German parts
-Traveled around France-including hiking in the French Alps
-Traveled to Budapest
-Gotten tired of seeing castles
-Realized, accepted and overcame something
-Met new friends from England/Ireland/Canada/Swiss and the list could go on

So I reckon by 2010, on that bloody list, I want to have added, ‘lived in Ireland’ that is my new goal. An Irish boyfriend wouldn’t hurt either.
I would have loved to add, skied in the Swiss Alps but it does not look like that is happening now
Oh and maybe, finish the bloody thesis.
Then again, who knows what will happen in the new year. I never thought in a million years I would be living and working in Geneva, with an international organization. I never thought I would love Geneva so much that I would want to stay longer. I never thought I would be staying beyond the three months. I never thought I would see Irish fling again. I think, not knowing, made it that much more interesting. Like I always say, the best and worst things in life are unexpected. (stupid bloody ticket, grumble grumble-this is the second time! I need a new wallet! Or in fact, a wallet at all)

2008-11-25T01:59:00.000-06:00

“ Everything you want in the world is just right outside your comfort zone.
Jennifer Aniston

“ And maybe you don’t go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don’t do.
Chuck Palahniuk

2008-11-24T06:51:00.001-06:00

I want to feel passion.

Friday After Five-Finally

2008-11-21T10:02:00.002-06:00

It is Friday finally and I have my flat back to myself which is rather nice. It may be pouring rain and dark already but darn it, its Friday.

No plans specifically. Shall text irish friend when I get more minutes on my bloody mobile.

Have to catch up with this past week and weekend. Last weekend I was in France twice! Went to Annecy on Saturday afternoon/evening for a Botellion that got canceled after we left, only to get there and be surrounded by French police.
(Have I mentioned the French and French Swiss police are rather rude and not nice at all?) Still managed to have a blast, drinking champagne on park benches, drinking by the lake, hanging with my friends in Annecy...twas really good.

There was also inappropriate pictures of me posted from Friday by this random guy we met in the RAF, well they were not that inappropriate, but just silly enough to freak the parents out. *sigh* They are on a really reduced privacy on facebook now. I mean really, lectures at my age?

Randomly went hiking in the French Alps on the Sunday. Loved it. Want to do it again. So very beautiful.

American consultant in all the previous week, who did a whole lot of nothing.

Ummmmm quiz night fourth place.

Hometown friend crashing with me. She has been making delicious food but has many issues.

Entire purse stolen.

Sigh.

Dealing with Swiss French police is not fun, especcially when you show up, stressed out and their first reaction is, 'if you live in Geneva why dont you speak French'

The reply I didnt give, was, 'I dont give a fuck, even if I was fluent I would not be able to speak french right now, as I am fucking upset and it is in your fucking city that it was stolen!

But I did not say that.

Lunch today with a Canadian mate and coworker.

Laundry party and yummy dinner with Parisan lawyer friend last night.

Really going to take it easy this weekend. Workmate says I say that every weekend but this weekend I mean it! Workmate says I say that every weekend and I still come back on Friday exhausted but thus far I have no plans...except practical things like shopping to replace items that were stolen, updating cv, ect ect...maybe seeing Servette play on Sunday...brunch with irish friend would also be nice...also have to see if I can still use my gym membership...even though my free pass was stolen...

Anywho. It is five thirty and I am off.

Happy Friday!

what the hell am i doing here?

2008-11-20T07:39:00.001-06:00

Scottish friend is off sailing a boat around the world and I am....
sitting in an office, still having no idea what the hell I am doing,deadlines looming, staring at mountains, surfing the net, recovering from a cold and the weekend, and wishing I was with her.

2008-11-20T07:37:00.000-06:00

“ Don’t you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it’s necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence
Pulp Fiction

2008-11-20T07:02:00.000-06:00

“ Be fearless. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
Graham Hill

2008-11-20T06:59:00.000-06:00

"I will have to be honest here. Right now I am not feeling much like trying anymore. Life just feels very overwhelming. Too much life, not enough meaning. Too much fear, not enough strength. Too much uncertainty, not enough hope.

I am confused about so much."

Can life be awesome and horrible at the same time?